Fame (A Josh Hutcherson Fanfiction)

Part 22

You and Niall stay just like that for a long time, you don't know how long, but you just continue crying. "I thought he loved me. I thought he wanted to be with me. He.. He told me He'd never leave me and he said not to worry about him leaving me because he wouldn't. I'd rather have him leave than cheat." you say. You just continue venting and venting, and Niall just keeps listening. He's always there for you and you love that. "Niall I'm sorry. I don't know why I drug you along. I just needed someone. And I don't know why it was you, but my mind was made up. Anyway I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to listen to this." you say. "Em, we're best friends. I'm here for you whenever you need me. You don't need to be sorry." he says with a slight smile. "I can bring you home Ni." You say getting up. "No I'll stay with you however long you need me." Niall says. "I love ya Ni, but it's 4:30 in the morning. I know I won't sleep at all, but you should."  Niall tries to argue a little bit more, but you finally get him to agree to go home. You had your crying time, and you had your venting time, both things Niall was very helpful during, but you need your thinking time. Time to think about what happened, to think about what you're going to do, and you think best when you're alone. You drive back home and you see that the jeep is gone, so you figure Josh is out looking for you. "You sure you don't need me to stay. I will Em, I really will." Niall says for about the 100th time. "Yeah Niall, I'm sure. I love you. Thank you for being here tonight." You respond. Niall gives you a quick peck on the cheek, tells you he loves you, and gets out of your car. You drive off again, once again not knowing your destination. Finally you are about out of gas, so you park your car in an almost empty parking lot. You get into the backseat and turn on the dvd player that's built into your car. The movie that was in there was What Happens in Vegas, so you spend a few hours trying to get your mind off things by watching it. You're mind continuously goes back to Josh though. And Lana. And the kiss you watched happen when Josh thought you weren't watching. You go back to the things Josh has said before. That he loves you. That he will never leave you. That you shouldn't believe the things those people used to say about you. That you don't have to worry about him loving someone else because when you're around he never will. You wonder if they were true when he said them or if you just fell into his little web of lies. Once again you start crying. You think back to those nights you spent believing the people who told you that you were worthless. You think about how you only had the boys and your brother, and wonder if that’s true again. Then you wipe your tears from your face. You have to be strong. You're not the same person you were then, you've matured, you have more self confidence. People love you for you. You not only have Ed, Matthew, and your parents. You have The Boys. You have friends. You have Jen and Livi, you have Liam and Sam. Yes, you met them through Josh but they love you the same. You have Connor, who despite being Josh's brother, will always be there for you. You have Josh's parents. But most importantly, you have Mac. You have someone that will be there. You have someone that you will love unconditionally forever and that will love you. That will depend on you. The people in your life are amazing, and you force yourself to remember that no matter how much you want to cocoon into the blanket of depression you used to be in. You get out of the backseat, preparing to go back home. You deserve to be there just as much as Josh does. You get out of the car, and that's when a black, all too familiar jeep pulls up, and Josh gets out.  

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Fuck. That's the first word that runs through your mind when you see Josh. Then you wonder how in the world he found you. But when Josh is determined, it's hard to stop him. You wouldn't doubt it if he just drove around for hours looking for your car. "Emma don't get back in that car you have to listen to me." Josh says in a tone you've only heard one other time. The last time you heard that tone in his voice is after you sang Stubborn Love and he remembered everything that his accident had made him forget. "Josh I don't need this. I don't need you to explain it to me. You have someone else, and I have my friends. I have my family, and I have Mackinley." The look in his eyes kills you. "You have me too Emma. You have me. I'm yours and your mine and it's always going to be that way. It has to." Josh says, his voice breaking and tears starting to pour from his eyes. It breaks your heart, but then you see his lips on Lana's. "Josh I'm not going to be anyone's second choice. If you want her that's fine just have the decency to tell me to my face instead of making out in my fucking bedroom." you say, your voice rising with anger for the first time since Josh showed up. His voice raises as well, "I don't want her Emma. I want you. I JUST want you." and the tears flow from his face as he says it, and you long for it to be true. But if it was, he wouldn't have been kissing Lana. "Clearly that's not true." You say even though you with it was. "Yes Emma it is." Josh sighs and the covers his face with his hands and he says "For the love of God, if I didn't want you do you really think I'd drive throughout the whole fucking city for over 3 hours looking for any sign of you." You are so frustrated with Josh right now you don't even know what to say. "UGH Josh. Do you really expect me to believe that. If YOU wanted only ME then why in the world were you sucking face with Lana in the middle of our bedroom." You're basically screaming at him at this point. "It's not like I.. It.. Em please." Josh says, "I didn't even want to do that. She made me. She walked into our room and just started kissing me, I swear I was pushing her off of me as you were walking in. Bebay I didn't want that. I want you. I need you." Just then there's a loud boom of thunder and the sky lights up with a flash of lightning. "Josh that's the thing. You don't need me. And I used to think I needed you. I did need you actually. I was completely dependent on you, and I relied on you for everything. But I don't need that anymore. I used to think I did. But I've learned that I can't count on you. I continue to be disappointed and I don't need a constant disappointment in my life." you continue to say. Your voice between a yell and an angry level. Josh just breaks down. He starts crying uncontrollably and you feel a pang a guilt runs through you as you realize he's crying over you. Maybe.. Maybe he didn't really want to kiss her. Maybe he's telling the truth.. I mean she did tell Niall she was going to find someone to have sex with. You're about to get back into your car and leave when it starts down pouring on you and Josh. Josh gets up from his crouching position and he closes the gap that had been between you the whole time you were talking. As he's walking to you he doesn’t say a thing. He just lifts you up in his strong arms, pushes you lightly against your car door and he kisses you in the rain. The kiss is so passionate. More passionate than any other kiss you've ever received. When his lips part from yours he stay close. Very close, so that you're entire bodies are still touching, except your lips. The rain continues to fall on top of you and then Josh crashes his lips into yours again. You know by the way he kisses you, and by the way you kiss him back, that he doesn't want anyone else, that he needs you, and that no matter how hard you try to be independent, you indeed need Josh.