Too Close To Home (Camren)

Chapter 13

And just after that thought, Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball started to play in the background. God, you fucker.

While the others were busy talking, I decided to sort my thoughts out. I think I was able to convince myself that I've moved on from her was because of the busy schedule I had this year. I was too busy to even think about my personal life, what more about Lauren. Every single day, I was either promoting my album or having meetings on how to promote my album.

So now, after being with Lauren for the day, I've come to realize what I've missed.

I couldn't help but feel my heart constrict painfully as I shifted my gaze for a few seconds to look at them. But I didn't say anything. Lauren had explicitly said that she only wanted us to be purely friends, so if I thought that the time we had just hours ago was somewhat a date, it was on me. Lauren never indicated that it was anything more than friendly. Sure, she flirted and stuff, but friends do that sometimes. And she was a natural flirt so her rather overly friendly personality justifies what she did, right?

Besides, the reason we lost touch was because I expressed my feelings too much and now that I finally got a taste of what our friendships could bring, I didn't want to repeat the past. I don't think I could go through losing Lauren for what feels like the umpteenth time.

Friends. Friends. Friends. I repeated those mantra over and over in my mind, maybe then I could convince myself that we could just be that.

"Chancho, you should sing for us," Dinah said, diverting my attention from Lauren to her.

Sometimes I have a feeling that she knows. She never outwardly said it but her eyes has a hint of sympathy at times and every time I was looking at Lauren, she would be the one to distract me. And she does so easily, just by calling me Chancho, a nickname we made up long before fame actually became a thing for us.

I haven't heard that name in a medallion years and now that I've heard it, I can't help but feel bittersweet.

We're growing up so fast. Too fast in my opinion.

"Me? Nooo.."

"Oh come on..." she said. "Guys.." she shouted then, catching everyone's attention as she did so, "who wants to hear Camila sing?"

A round of loud claps and cheers erupted in the room, making me grow nervous as they all sauntered their way to the room and making a circle around the couches; the girls and I being in the middle.

From the corner of my eye, Lauren suddenly walked away, only to come back with a guitar on her hand. There was a bow placed on it.

"Well, I planned on giving this the traditional way, but it seems more convenient this way. Happy Birthday, Camz," she said as she hugged me. This was the first time she had actually talked to me since the party started. With that, she walked back to the couch beside Lucy.

It's funny really, the action she just did sums up our relationship. No matter how thoughtful and sweet she is to me, she'll always walk back to Lucy at the end of the day. It happened 2 years ago and its happening now. I just should've known better.

"Come on," Dinah asserted, once again diverting my attention back to reality.

Singing in front of ten thousand random people and probably fans is one thing, singing in front of celebrities that I've looked up to was another. I anticipated every single concert I've performed, every movement was calculated. This was different because it was spontaneous, I don't even know what song to sing.