re:Happiness | Cell Phone Novel

postscript

Thanks everyone. Really. It has been such an honor, a pleasure, and an emotionally-wrecking journey that I'm certain I will never forget.

Did you know? When I first started writing re:Happiness, I was initially aiming for at least 110 parts. Now that I look over it again, I tend to laugh at myself because in the end I ended up writing way, way more than I had intended.

re: Happiness first started out as a really vague story that was inspired from an illustration I found on the internet one day (in case you're curious, this illustration is the banner for the final chapter/part, re:happiness). At first, the idea simply popped into my head: I wanted to write a story about this character. To me, the picture looked sad yet hopeful at the same time. It gave me a mellow feeling that I can't really put into words.

Back then, re:Happiness was also a completely different story.

It was told from a character named Hashimoto Rie's point of view. The Rie of the first re:Happiness and the Rie of this re:Happiness had two completely opposite personalities. Originally, Rie was supposed to be a quiet, timid person who lost herself in books and had no friends in contrast to the loud, stubborn and cheerful one we see in this story. Then one day, she visits the hospital and meets a young man on the rooftop. That person's name was Fujiwara Haru, and he was supposed to be Ao's older brother.

Haru was a terminal patient, and he was under the a time limit. He and Rie start to become friends despite that. Ao appears then after a few chapters to visit his brother, and slowly, he warms up to Rie (Ao's cold personality is still the same in this re:Happiness). On first half, I decided to focus on Rie and Haru's relationship. Soon, Haru dies and Ao is plunged into self-hatred. The second half was supposed to focus on Rie and Ao, and how she tries to heal him and herself.

In the end, however, I decided to leave the story aside. For me, it seemed too forced and... different. I can't explain it well, but ultimately, I just left it alone.

Then, one day, the second plot for re:Happiness—-this re:Happiness-—came into my mind. It came out of nowhere, really. I was suddenly caught by an intense urge to write it all down. It was so sudden that I had nothing to do but type furiously on the keyboard like someone who had a divine awakening or something. But I needed characters. And in that light of the moment, I thought of Rie and Ao from the first re:Happiness.

And so, I decided to add them. And At the same time, I decided to use the same title of the story as well because I lacked the brain cells to create another one, and because I thought it was fitting for this story.

Additionally, the Kusakabe Leo was from a different story too. He was supposed to be a character from a book I gave the tentative title of 'Dandy and Lion' which was about a boy and a girl who didn't fit into society. But I had no idea what to do with the plot, so I decided to just add Leo into this story instead, since I didn't want to leave him forgotten. For this decision, I'm really glad I made it.

But anyway, that's enough for the origin of this novel.

Going back, I guess I first started making this story thinking that I wanted to connect to a character. Perhaps I wanted to try writing young adult tragedies as well. Maybe I just felt bored. I don't really remember. The next thing I knew, I was already writing the first seven parts of beloved child.

As the days grew, I often wondered and asked myself why I was still writing this story, because it seemed to be getting too dark and personal. Many times, I've considered deleting this because I felt it was extremely personal on some parts, especially in worthless cycle and unhappy story. It was just supposed to be an experimental book meant for me to explore and try writing cpns. I never intended it to get as somber and as personal as it has turned out to. However as I continued, my number one reason became clear: I wanted to show everyone Ao's journey in finding his own version of happiness. I didn't want to end this story halfheartedly. And because of all of those who commented and supported the story, I found the courage to continue to write even though I hesitated at first.

Until now, I'm still not sure about what kind of story this is. I changed the book's genre from Short Story to Teen Fiction to just General Fiction, because I wasn't really sure what I was planning to write. re:Happiness, at first, was a vague love story. But then as the days grew, I realized that I didn't want to make it one. Instead, I focused on connections and death and regrets and second chances. There's love, of course, but it's mostly filial and platonic. (However, for Ao and Rie... hmm) Still, in the end, I didn't regret anything that this story has become. In the end, re:Happiness is something that I can be proud of, thanks to every single one of you.

Ah. Before I also forget, I'd like to let you listen to this song below, which has become one of the inspirations for this story. This is titled 'Kokoronashi' which directly translates to 'Somehow' and can also be read as 'Heartless'. It's a beautiful song produced by Chouchou-P, covered by one of my favorite utaites, Sou. If you listen to the whole song, you'll realize that the lyrics almost seem to relate with Ao a lot. If someone were to ask about the theme song of his life, I'd pick this one in a heartbeat.

In the end... I hope is that this was memorable for you in some way. Even if I was able to teach you at least one thing, that would make me really happy. I feel so honored and accomplished and so... relieved.

Like Ao, I wish that you find your own happiness as well. Always know that there will always be someone there to love you, even when you think there isn't. Find your own Leo, your own Rie. Find your own version of happiness.

Again, thank you.

Thank you so much for everything.

Now, please excuse me while I cry from happiness and exhaustion because I still can't believe I just finished a story for the first time and I can't stop remembering the fact that it's already been eight months since the first chapter (இдஇ; )(இдஇ; )