What Is A Dream?

Chapter 1

June 3, 2012

I don't understand. Of course I know what death is, but I don't understand why it had to come for Daddy. He's only 42. Why did he kill himself?

August 14, 2012

Today I turned 10. Daddy's been dead for two months, but last night he spoke to me in a dream. I miss him.

December 25, 2012

Daddy spoke to me last night too. I know he's not real. I know he's dead. I don't think there's an afterlife. But I heard him. Like my birthday, he was just himself. He just chatted. I miss him.

May 31, 2013

I was only going to write when he spoke to me, but today counts. It's the anniversary of his death. I heard him crying. I didn't want to see anybody today. Eddie is mean to me. Mommy is always crying. I'm taking care of her when all I want to do is curl up and listen to Daddy.

July 19, 2013

Daddy's birthday! I didn't make a cake, but I did silently sing to him. It was the first time he talked to me when I was awake. He said thank you. I miss him.

August 14, 2013

My birthday. I don't want friends or presents. I just want him.

December 25, 2013

He wasn't in my head today. I think he's gone. I don't want him to be gone. I want to talk to him!

March 18, 2015

He came back today. I don't know where to start. I was watching the Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug, when I heard my mom come inside. I went to the top of the stairs and looked down at the front door. She stood there with a tall, thin, ugly man. For a moment, it looked like he didn't have any skin. His eyes were horrible. They were black pits of nothingness. They held each other's hands and looked into each other's eyes. It was disgusting. I went back to the family room and played the movie, but I started to cry. Then Daddy was there. He told me that he loved me and not to cry. I asked what I should do. He didn't answer.

April 1, 2015

I keep talking to him, but he doesn't answer. Where did he go?

July 19, 2015

Mommy didn't come home last night. She stays at Kenneth's house a lot. I hate it. I want him dead. He scares me. More and more he looks barely human. The skin is all shriveled up and it falls off. And those eyes...

July 19, 2016

Today, Eddie was arguing me and he pushed me. I hit my head on the counter and fainted. That's when Daddy came back. It's been over a year. I'm about to turn 14. My birthday's so soon. There's something I have to do first. Kenneth is horrible. I hate him. He's worse than anybody I've ever met. I'm making cookies, and I'm going to put poison in his.

August 13, 2016

I went to court today. Kenneth pressed charges against me so my mom broke up with him. That's all I ever wanted. But they found this, and they think I'm crazy. They don't see what a monster he is. But they're still putting me in a mental hospital.

August 14, 2016

I woke up in a stark white room on my birthday. I'm wearing light blue clothes. They gave me a loose sports bra, a white tank top, a button down blue shirt, and blue pants. I'm not crazy, but now I look like it. They didn't give me a hairbrush so I still have bedhead. Breakfast was boring. Nobody talked to me. I'm the youngest one here. I wonder why there aren't children insane hospitals. Besides, I'm not crazy. I do hear him talking to me. There's someone here who looks a lot like him. I didn't get a good look because he disappeared really quickly.