Chapter Sixteen: Solace in the Unspoken

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Alois' POV

I stepped out the carriage, my stomach giving an uncomfortable lurch as I stared out at the sea of faces that fills the streets of London.
Ciel turned to look at me, his expression giving away as much as it usually did. Ignoring my own discomfort, I scampered over to him.

On the way to the barber's I had to block out the weird backward glances and sideways stares I was given, and though some looks were looks of sympathy, they were few and far between, even a few rude names were called, and that's not mentioning a coupe of people that deliberately shouldered me.
"How's life without that creepy butler of your's?!"
"You're not nearly as confident when you don't have that weirdo with you!"
"No surprise he left a meater (Victorian slang for a coward)like you!"

The bell of the barber's shop tinkled as we entered. The owner turned to look at us confusedly, before smiling. "Ah, ten-thirty, Alois Trancy, please take a seat," he cried, the corners of his eyes creasing as he smiled.
The barber was a broad, well built man, with slightly greying, mousy hair and jolly chestnut eyes, and a face that despite being touched by time still remained somewhat boyish and youthful. I gave a meek smile.

Though the man obviously meant well, he was quite boisterous and chatty, managing to talk almost the entire way through my appointment, much to my displeasure, though I decided to keep my trap shut about it. My public image was probably tainted as it was, and I honestly didn't have to confidence to do anything about it anymore... I honestly can't remember how in world I used to be so carefree.
The snide remarks and curious or judgemental gazes weren't any better on the way back. I could feel the aggression radiating off Ciel, but we both knew starting a fight in public was beyond idiotic.

I practically threw myself into the carriage, Ciel being quick to close the door behind us. As I curled up on my seat Ciel threw me a look of sympathy, but kept quiet. I could feel my remaining confidence dwindling.
I had just been happy again, I had finally been enjoying life, but what could I expect from the things I shared a planet with? I had forgotten how cruel people were.
Mind you, maybe they were right. I probably was nothing without Claude, of course I appreciated Ciel, and I probably would of offed myself if he hadn't come when he had, but Claude was just a lot more intimidating, no one would ever dare talk back if he was there, I really wasn't much of a threat without him. I was weak, I couldn't get anything done without someone else there to help.
It also wasn't a wonder he left someone like me, I'm ****, I'm foul, I'm rude, I'm uncaring, I'm useless. Looking back on it all now I'm surprised Claude didn't leave earlier. He deserved to scare me with the murders, he deserved to get away from me, he deserved to make me hurt, all the things he did to me were justified. The only thing that wasn't deserved was the way I treated him and the fact he had to serve me for all those years. And Ciel doesn't to deserve to have to be sucked into this whole mess either...
"Ciel?" Ciel looked up at my sudden voice.
"I-if you ever get tired of me f-feel free just to eat my soul o-or leave. I-I don't want to drag you into anything you
d-don't deserve," I stumbled.
"Deserving something is nonsense. An action can be justified or unjustified but the whole concept of deserving something is incredibly childish. Saying that 'I didn't deserve that' is merely a slightly more mature way of saying 'it's not fair '," Ciel replied cryptically. "If this is about Claude then he could have left a long time ago if he considered his job that awful. If he was put through anything he found unpleasant then it was his fault for not deciding to leave earlier," he added, by means of explanation. I couldn't help but find solace in Ciel's words, as uncaring as they probably were, he did have a point.
I smiled, somewhat more at ease now. "Thank you," I mumbled.
"I was merely pointing out what many are afraid to admit."

A/N: An extra one-hundred words or so because I haven't been updating much lately, and I apologise about that. Hopefully you liked it, until next time my fellow nerds and otakus, serpent author out!🐉

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