Love Is A Dangerous Word

Part 11: I Don't Have Enough Time To Write an Autobiography

"We just esacped the Legion on the same night but it's technically the next day since it's past midnight," Lilith was shining the flashlight on herself "during the escape we found out that Lucas had his head bashed in by Greg, however Hope got her vengeance after a fair brawl between them. Hope came out victorious by shooting Greg in the face. I had not been more satified seening someone die. Anyways after we jumped down from the window and got Lang from the dumpster we used our wits to hide in a destroyed building not far from the Legion so we can rest and so we won't be travelling at night. At this point I'm not sure where to go next, will we cross paths with tOS again? Will we find another crazy faction? Who knows...right now it's just me, Jorge, Hope, Lang, and Hugs. Everyone is alseep except Jorge and I. Just gonna update when I can tomorrow. Lilith out," she turned off the camera to see Jorge walking up to her.

"Lilith can we talk in private please?" Jorge asked.

"Of course dude."

The moved far from where the others could hear even if they were awake.

"What is it?" Lilith was concerned.

Jorge didn't say anything but rolled up his sleeve to expose a scratch "I got it when I was rounding up infectors... "

"Jorge... No... "

"I'm sorry Lilith," he began to cry "it's only a little one though."

"It would only take longer for you to turn and it will be more painful.." She hugged him and her eyes began to water "not another one."

"I want to turn," Jorge smirked "I want to see how the other half lives."

"Then we have to tell the rest and tie you up."

"No.." Jorge quickly said "Then they would want to kill me on the spot. When I start looking sick we can tell them, but for now we must keep it secret."

"That I can agree with, it's justified with your reason. Even if they find out before I'll defend you."

"Thank you Lily."

"I respect your wishes just like I would anyone else. You should keep watch, so you don't fall asleep and turn."

"I can agree to that, I have a lot to think about."

"Just don't turn before sunrise comes."

"No promises."

Jorge went to an open window to keep watch for anything that looked like a threat. The occasional infector passed by on the street, but didn't seem to notice the group. Other than that the place looked pretty vacant. Knowing they were all incognito Jorge let his mind drift. He was thinking about his life and how it got him to where he is now. Jorge seemed pretty frustrated and remembered a good coping technique he was taught: write down his feelings. His bag was next to him and he had a sheet of paper that was half crinkled up with a pen that had low ink.

'I'm writing this to hopefully inform people as to why I made the decision to turn. I have lived a life of prosperity, vigilance, and most of all my open mindedness. I know that those things are monsters, but I just want to see how the other half lives. What's it like to be undead? To only have one need and that is the need to feed. I know I'll have no memory of my past life, but I just want to know out of curiosity. I honestly find the infected interesting, not that I would capture them and experiment on them. It's their nature and how they behave. No idea of how or why they are attracted to things other than humans, like sound and light. Anyways, enough of that. I would like to give confessions about my life and my biggest regret also what I loved most out of it. One thing I confess to is a murder I committed before shit hit the fan. There was this black boy, he was about 15 or 16 and one day I was walking down the road coming home from the gym when he jumped around the corner and pulled me inside the alleyway along with his buddy, whom was about the same age, and tried to rob me. I reacted so drastically that I pulled out the knife I never thought I would use that I always carried around and stabbed him in the neck. His friend backed away in fear and ran away. I..just left the body there, didn't call 911, didn't call anybody, I just walked away with a couple blood drops on my arm. I'm not sure if the cops came because they never came to question me about it and no gang ever got vengeance. It's been haunting me, I have never told anyone nor came forward about it with regret. It was self defense and I knew it I was just afraid to face his family or the gang he was probably affiliated with.' 

Jorge flipped the paper 'My biggest regret wasn't that, but that I didn't come forward with it. It haunted me for months, until the apocalypse started and I could start something new. One thing I sure am proud of is Salutem, it was a new start and that's all I saw it as. It was tough, but I got through it. Also that I got to run it next to my loving brother, John. Then Lilith came along, she was one of the people I knew so little, but felt like I knew all my life. She was so supporting and persistent. The moment she got shot on my front porch I knew she would be a good influence. She has been and we have survived a lot together. I love her like my own family. In the end of my long 28 years of life this has to be the hardest thing I've had to write. Not only because I'm writing the the arm the scratch is on, but also because I don't have enough time to write an autobiography and not enough paper or ink. I'll just sum this up by saying I'm ready to die at any moment now. I want Lilith to take me out, I feel like its appropriate.'

-Jorge Johnathan Jackson 
7-24-22