POISE//AMBW

7.

"Good morning, Mr. Namjoon," the woman said to me as I finally got the courage to step in.

"Good morning, Ms. Lee. How are you?" I said, simply out of courteousness. I did not care about how she was. I longed to be out of her presence, the presence of a promiscuous woman who kept trying to lure me in with her dirty sins. I wished to do away with her, waving her off multiple times like a stray dog, but craving her company all the same. I knew she was no good, but I wanted her around.

"I'm well, I'm well. But, I could be better. " Seductive words flew out of her mouth sending more tingles around. It was too early for such a thing to be happening. I began to get frantic, Ms. Lee walking up to my back that faced her and put her hands small hands around me. I began to feel something throb, and I knew exactly what it was. I need to get out of here, I thought to myself.

But, I needed her. I needed her to kiss me on the lips and grab my length the way I liked it, the way Nala does it. Nala.

I ripped the suggestive woman's hands off of my hip and shoulder, turning around to push her on to the elevator wall. Lust filled the young lady's eyes, her eyes now darker than midnight. She licked her lips hungrily.  "Stop. I have a wife! You know that." I barked at her. The elevator stopped reaching the top floor after what seemed like years. I rubbed my hair frustatedly and walked out.

I bit my lip hard. I wanted it. I should be ashamed. My length throbbed the more my thoughts lingered her body.

I reached my office greeting my assistant. "Are you alright, sir?" My assistant looked up from his computer very concerned. I nodded, sighing heavily. I planted myself down on my desk chair and sat back cooly. But, the way she looked at me, she wanted me. She practically implored me with her eyes. God, I need her to fulfill my temporary needs and to add on to my long list of sins. So young and dirty, I never got to live such a filthy life.

I bit my lip harder, turning on the computer to begin my everlasting duties. And yet it throbbed and it throbbed and it throbbed. Why won't this concupiscense cease to an end? Drops of sweat formulated on my forehead. It began to get unnoticeably hot inside to room. I tugged and tugged at my tie trying to get some air to do away with the strange hot flash. My assistant looked up from his computer to witness my peculiar behavior. He scrunched up his face.

"Are you okay, sir?" He readjusted his glasses that hung loosely in his face. Clearly, he needed new ones.

"I just need to go home. I just can't take it right now." I confessed, running my face. Please, don't think about her. Don't think about how her breasts are perfectly round and perky. Don't think about how she stuck out her chest once you walked in. How her tongue gently licked your ear as she whispered how much she wants you. How she slowly rubbed you through your pants making you breath heavily. Yeah, don't think about it.

My face grew hot before I stood up and slammed my hand down in anger. My assistant jumped, not expecting such a reaction from me. I like to stay composed at all times, especially at my workplace, but I couldn't take it anymore.

I gathered my stuff up, throwing papers sloppily into my briefcase.

"Excuse me, Mr. Namjoon." A familiar voice trailed. I froze in my spot like a deer in headlights. It was her. Ms. Lee, the reason for all of my headaches and the cause of my tempting thoughts.

She looked so innocent, but I knew that it was a mask in front of the assistant.

"Yes?" My flusteredness eased down some, but my awkwardness remained sky high. I slowly put my things away, this time being more gentle and unrushed.

"Someone needs to speak to you." Her high pitched voice filled the room. I looked away from her eyes afraid that I'd act out in ways that I shouldn't.

"Actually, I was just leaving. Tell whoever that wants to talk to me to hold it up for tomorrow." I cleared my throat, zipped up the briefcase, and stormed past her without another word.

I made it to the parking lot with no problems, rushing to get home to my wife and son.

"Why are you leaving so early? You've only been here for about an hour." Mr. Park stopped me at the gate, punching my ticket that said that I was there.

I shook my head, mostly from my frustations. I really was going to do it. I really was about to fuck a co-worker.

"You alright?" The bowl man tilted his head to get a better look at my pale face.

"Yes," I whispered, snatching my ticket from his hand, storming off.

The car ride seemed to last only a second. I was probably speeding, but I didn't care about that. I just wanted to get home and relax, so that I don't gag to think about her. Her. Her name is Kim Lee. Twenty four years of age and eager to be someone's lover. She'd do anything I asked, even if it'd cost her everything, just so she'd be mine. I don't know why me of all people, but I seemed to grab her attention the most. Maybe she's never been loved. Maybe she's looking for trouble. Maybe she's looking for easy sex.

I left my briefcase in the car, stepping into the house. I walked in to Hanuel playing with one of his toys. Something seemed off about his behavior; he seemed to be bored, tossing the orange dinosaur about, and then staring at the mess blankly. He was zombified. I frowned. No two year old should be acting like this.

"Hey, Hani!" I exclaimed, my previous internal conflicts vanquishing.

The young boy looked up from the dinosaur. His eyes were red like he had been crying, and his posture was full of sadness. My heart dropped along with his.

"What's wrong?" I crouched down to sit on the floor with him. He stared at me blankly, and his bottom lip started to quiver. Before he could answer, a low and deep growl escaped from his stomach. The realization kicked in.

"Where's Nala?" My voice raised as I grew frantic. His lip quivered ferociously, face turning beet red.

"Mommy's gone, daddy. When is mommy coming back?" He let his wails explode from his small body. My stomach started twisting up in a sickening way, I wanted to throw up badly.

"How long has she been gone, Hani?" Watching him cry made tears well up in my eyes as well. I hung onto him, afraid that if I let him go, he'd disappear like a gust of cold air on a boiling hot Summer's day. I hurriedly took him into the kitchen and prepared food for him. The poor thing was starving and all this time I was not aware. He gulped down his food quicker than lightning striking the ground, and he continued to plead for more until his body was filled with all of the nutrients he had not gotten.

"How long has she been gone, Hanuel?" I repeated. I prayed and prayed that he could give me an answer. He was only two, but he was very intelligent. Please, tell me.

"All day. Where she go, daddy?" He asked me, his eyes batted clearly his salty tears away.

"I don't know, son. I don't know."

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