Pretending (A Calum Hood Fan Fiction)

Chapter 44: Her

I pulled my hair up in a nice ponytail as I look at my own reflection in front of my mirror. I straightened up my cream-colored knitted sweater that I paired with usual black skinny jeans. I looked just like my usual self. I tool a deep breath and smiled as I checked my self on my mirror for the last time. I walked to my table and grabbed my wallet and phone, then headed out.

"You ready?" Calum asked as he stood up from the couch.

"Yep." I smiled. "Let's go."

I locked the doors and chucked the keys inside my pockets. I looked at my lonely house as we drive away. I've been alone in the house for a day, and it felt like I've been alone already for ages. I know it somehow feels empty whenever I'm at home with my parents, but having them not literally at home is truly heartbreaking. My dad's been staying at a rehab, and my mother decided to leave me alone just like that. I want to get mad at her but I couldn't. I know she have been through a lot and she couldn't take it anymore. But did she ever think that the same thing is happening to me? She left just when I needed her the most. Now I'm left all alone in my house, that I can barely call home.

I rested my head on the car window as I secretly wipe the tear out of my eyes. The thought of visiting Riley after a very long time somehow soothes me. I miss him so much, and I feel really bad about not being able to visit him for years. The last time I went there, I was 11. And now I'm nearly 18. It's been a long time and I feel bad, but I know it all happened for some reasons. I've moved on and got a chance to be happy again. Just like what I told him that last day I went there, I would try and be happy again. And I did.

Calum pulled over at a vacant spot in front of the cemetery. He didn't have any idea that we'll be here. I know I could go alone and all by myself, but something inside me wanted him to come with me here. It feels like it's some kind of a right thing to do, so I did.

I took out the bunch of flowers I bought at the backseat and started walking, taking his hand, intertwining it with mine. He held mine back, making me give him a sweet smile.

"Now this explains why you bought bunch of flowers." He stated. "Who are we going to visit?"

I didn't answer him, instead I just looked at him and smiled, as we remain walking. I started searching for Riley's spot; it's under a tree, somewhere at the far side. It took us five minutes to get there. I looked at the tree, it still looked so much like how it looked like the last time I went here. I looked down at Riley's grave. I can barely read his name from all the dust that had form into it. I looked around and saw the other spots; they looked nice and clean, with all the flowers surrounded at them. I suddenly felt bad again. I sat down and pulled a handkerchief from my pockets, and started wiping off the dust. Within seconds, it came back to the shiny black stone, showing his name written nicely in gold. When it finally got visible to read, Calum sat down next to me as I place the flowers around Riley's grave.

"I-I didn't know you have a brother." He uttered, sadness evident in his tone.

"I had." I smiled.

"I'm sorry, Kristen." He moved closer and placed his arms around me, making his head rest on mine.

"Don't be," I looked up at him and smiled. "It's alright."

I rested my head on his shoulder as we remained silent, feeling the wind hitting our faces. The sound of branches dancing along the wind never fails to calm me all the time. I closed my eyes, a smile stuck on my face. I feel safe a lot more than I should. I am here, visiting my brother whom I once called my hero, with this person whose arms are wrapped around me, making me feel loved and safe that never in years had I thought would ever happen again.

"Hi Riley." I started saying. "I'd like you to meet someone."

I turned to look at Calum, only to find out that he's smiling at me again. I leaned in and kiss him, making him smile as we kiss. I wonder if he knows how much I love it when he does that.