Voices · Enoch O'Connor

Chapter 5 || Part 2

Remember
[ri-mem-ber]

Verb,
to recall to the mind by an act or effort of memory, think of again.

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"What if you gave the doll a knife?"

Enoch and I were currently thinking about ways to make the crab like doll stronger. Olive was helping Miss Peregrine with preparing lunch whilst we were brainstorming.

"Where would we place the knife?" He has a point where would we be able to place a knife.

"How about removing one hand and placing a knife there instead of a hand?" It was a good idea made by him but there was one problem.

"Wouldn't he lose balance?"

"Why would he lose balance?"

"Because the knife is made of metal and the doll is made of a lighter material than metal."

"Then we put something in the other arm so it stays in balance." He grabs a small rock and cuts open the doll and puts it inside of the arm. He then cuts off one hand and puts a small knife in the place and starts sewing it together again.

I look at my watch and see that it's almost time for lunch. Enoch sees me looking at the time and says that I can go to the dining room if I want to. I walk towards the door and walk through it I look back at Enoch and see him cleaning up.

I smile at him and closed the door behind me. I walk through the hall towards the dining room but when I pass the door the voices get louder again.

I slowly walk over to the door and slowly grab the doorknob suddenly I clutch my head in pain when I touch the knob. I stagger back from the door but I never take my gaze off of the door. What is behind that door?

I quickly look back when I hear a door open meaning that Enoch is heading in my direction. I quickly walk away from the door and throw one last glance at the door before making my way to the dining room.

I walk into the dining room and see Miss Peregrine talking to Emma I walk up to Miss Peregrine and ask if I could talk to her in private I have to ask her about my grandmother, I have to remember some good things about her. And maybe I'll discover what's behind that door.

I walked towards the door and started walking towards the garden, I heard Miss Peregrine come after me and I slowed down my pace after a while. I turned to face Miss Peregrine and asked.

''What was my grandmother like?'' I suddenly felt sad when I said that, these people knew my own grandmother better than me, I'm her grand-daughter and still Miss Peregrine and the others knew her better than me.

''She was a wonderful human being, she was kind and caring, friendly and very helpful. She loved life and she enjoyed everyone's company.'' I knew that I could never be like my grandmother, but I didn't expect to feel so worthless and hopeless when I heard those words come out of her mouth.

I feel like everyone expects me to fill the place of my grandmother but I know better, I know that I could never live up to be like my grandmother. I will never be able to take away the pain and emptiness my grandmother left, I'm afraid and I don't know what to do anymore. I thought that I would be accepted here for being me, now I just feel like I'm a replacement.

''One last question, What's behind that door down the hall to everyone's bedroom?'' Miss Peregrine looks surprised at me but that quickly fades away and her face goes back to a neutral expression.

''One of my children that I couldn't protect, now it's time for lunch.'' She walks off back towards the house I feel one tear slip down my face, when will I finally be good enough for something, for someone.

I walk back to the house and suddenly remembered my grandmother's diary, I left it in the real world, I have to get it back, it's the only thing that I have of hers and maybe it could help me. I run inside to the dining room and see everyone's head turn to me. I walk over to the empty seat next to Olive and start eating silently.

I have to go back to the real world and find it, it's been two days so it would mean that my mother and father are still in Cairnholm most likely looking for me, how am I going to avoid my parents. I was so deep in thought and didn't realize that everyone was looking at me for an answer.

''Sorry, what did you say?'' I didn't know who asked me so I kept looking down at my plate.

''I asked what your peculiarity is.'' Apparently, Emma was the one who asked me the question. I shake my head slightly in a way to show that I didn't want to talk about it.

''I bet it's that cool ability Eleanor had, you know with the screaming.'' This time it was Miljard talking.

''I hope so, she would always show me what would happen if she couldn't hold back a scream.'' So she had control over her ability, at least better than me.

''She would always help me with everything, and she was so kind'' I'll never be good enough I guess.

''She had such a cool ability.'' And that last comment from them was my breaking point, normally I wouldn't react like this but something just snapped.

''Stop! Just stop! I get it I'll never be like my grandmother! I'll never be as kind or smart as her or talented. And no I don't have that much control over my peculiarity!.''

''I don't have the peculiarity of reanimating dead things or controlling air or fire, I just have voices in my head.'' I stand up and quickly run out of the house and head towards the loop entrance. I walk out of the loop and run back towards the Priest Hole and climb in through the window I turn and see my mom sleeping with tear stains on her cheeks in her arms she is holding the letter I wrote, I see my bag where I left my grandmother's diary. I grab it out of the bag and started to walk towards the window again.

I looked back at my mother and decided that I wanted to say goodbye properly to her I slowly made my way back to her and felt a tear slip down my cheek, after this, I would never see her again, I choke on a sob when I thought about never being able to see her again.

I shake her softly and softly whispered.

''Mom, mom wake up.'' She jumps awake at my voice and at first, she looks at me with disbelief for a few moments. Before pulling me into a tight hug. We stayed like that just hugging crying and sobbing into each other's shoulders. I reluctantly let go of her and smile at her.

''I thought you left for good, I was so worried, it doesn't matter you're here now.'' I wanted to hug her again and tell her that I'm okay but I couldn't, one reason being that I had to say goodbye to her and another being that I wasn't okay, at all.

'''Mom, I just wanted to say goodbye to you properly, I can't stay, I have to leave soon again.'' I saw sadness take over in her eyes again and saw all the hope she once held fade again.

''What's going on honey, are you in danger? You know you could tell me anything right?''

''I know mom, I want to tell you everything that's going on but I can't, not because I don't want to but because I don't even know what's going on. And the things that I can explain I can't say because you wouldn't be able to understand'' I want to tell her everything, should I?

A/N

Hey, guys! I'm back, I know that I haven't updated in so long but I just started to lose inspiration to work on this book. I was starting to think about discontinuing this book but I really didn't want to so I took a break and I realized that all I needed was a little time, I will try to update as soon as I can. And can I just say that you guys are amazing this book hit 10k+ And thank you to everyone that has left a comment on this book so far, you guys really helped me pull through. Thank you guys so much and keep leaving your comments I love seeing them <3. Bye Guys. Stay peculiar.