Septiplier Angst One Shots

Thoughts

A/N: this chapter contains very sensitive subjects such as abuse, self harm, alcoholism, homophobia and more so if this content is sensitive to you please leave now because I don't want to trigger bad thoughts and yeah :D

I sit there in my room staring at the wall hearing my sister and mom fight again. I hated it so much I just wanted to leave this world.

"Jack." A voice said.

I ignore the voice.

"Jack!"

I knew who it was and I knew he was drunk.

"Sean William!" He yells and pulls at the collar of my shirt.

"Let go of me!" I panic and start to struggle as I started to choke.

"Your disgusting, liking men, cutting yourself for attention. You're no son of mine." He chokes me more and I start coughing.

'How did he know?!' I tear as my father hits me with his beer bottle and punches me.

All I could think about was Mark in the times I was being abused.

"Maybe you should kill yourself and never EVER come back." He held throwing the top of his beer bottle cutting my cheek and eyebrow.

I started to bawl and once he left I packed a small amount of clothes and jump out of my window bruised, cut, and almost with a broken arm. I run to the only person I could trust and that was Mark. After a few minutes I grab my phone and call Mark and wait at the door as it starts to rain.

"Hello?" Mark sounded like he was asleep and I started to cry trying to tell him what was wrong.

"I-I don't know w-what t-t-to do so I-I-" I try to speak.

"Whoa, Jack is that you?!" Mark sounded like he was going to panic.

"Y-Yeah I-I just d-dont know-" I was cut off again.

"Where are you right now?!"

"A-A-At your d-door."

"Really?! Okay, hold on I'll be there in a second!"

The next thing I know is that his front door swings open and he sees my saddened face and pulls me into the house as I cry hugging me trying to calm down. He sits me down on the couch in the living room before heading into the kitchen to heat up some water for hot chocolate. He comes back out and sits next to me hugging me worrying of what what was wrong.

"Tell Markipoo what's wrong Jackie." He rubs my back and he sees the cut on my cheek. "Ah, it was your dad again, right?"

I nod not holding my tears back.

Mark walks to a cabinet and grabs a bandaid, some antiseptic, cotton and bandages he on the way back got some tweezers and ice. He takes the tweezers and picks up the cotton ball putting antiseptic on the small ball.

"This might hurt." He starts to dab the cut on my cheek and I jump slightly from pain and how cold it was. "I told you."

He continues and puts on the bandaid. After that he looks at me and tells me to take off my shirt for the bruses and I agree taking my shirt off showing him the scars of my past along with the brand new bruses.

He touches one deep but old scar and I just from his cold fingers. "I'm sorry." His voice became very shaky and he puts his head lightly on my back.

I weep and look down and cover my face with my shirt and cry. Then suddenly Mark's arms wrap around me and he feels warm and I don't look up from my shirt and Mark kisses my shoulder.

"There may be scars," he starts and pauses. "But they are proof you are here, real, human and with me."

He smiles and patches up my bruses. My heart flutters hearing those words but makes my heart ache with sorrow and depression. Then my mind begins to wonder.

I don't deserve this, especially from him. I need to die because he deserves better and all I cause to others is pain.

"You can stay here tonight or for however long." Mark looked at my eyes. "Are you okay? Do you feel better?"

All I do is nod feeling my soul being dragged out of my body seeing him like this in front of me. I'm so fucking pathetic.

"You can take the guest bedroom. It's right next to my room and across the hall bathroom." He pats my hair.

I begin to think more.'Stop it.' I clench my shirt. 'I know I came here for your support but the truth is that, I wanted to see you one last time.'

"Seán, you okay?" Mark put his hand on my shoulder.

"U-Uh yeah much better now. I'm just really, really tired now." I smile.

Mark looks at the clock and nods. "Well it is late, how about you take a shower first?" He smiles at me.

I nod with a fake smile. "Yeah, I would like that."

"Alright then, I'll start the water you get your things to the spare bedroom." He stands as I nod.

Once he leaves I put back on my shirt and grab my bag searching through it. I grab my blade and a pair of scissors. Then I began to thinking to myself.

'I know this is alright of me Mark but I truly love you, but. . . I just can't anymore, I hate peoples suffering because of my exsitance.' I hide the blade and scissors and head to the bathroom.

I end you running into Mark. "Hey, I wanted to do something."

"What is it? I'm all ears." He smiles.

Without a single word I lean in and kiss him passionately before letting go and heading into the bathroom from my shower. I moved very fast so I wouldn't have to deal with his reaction and locked the bathroom door.

All I heard was silence on the other side and I turn on the bath water and filled the tub. I take out my blade and the pair of scissors and then took off my shirt, shoes and socks before going into the water. I pray to God saying to forgive him for being this way, a nuisance, a pathetic young adult, son and friend. Then I lifted my acted arm and take the blade and with all my pressure I slit my wrist down into my vein going down the river then I take the pressure of scissors and start cutting my neck and forearm.

'haha, the silence. It's so peaceful.'

"Seán?" I heard from the other side of the bathroom door with a knock.

'Oh yeah, I'm at Mark's house.'

"Seán?!" He bangs on the door.

'Why is he yelling? Did I do something wrong again?'

I heard the door being broke down basically and heard Mark yell. "SEÁN OH MY GOD! SEÁN?! SEAN!!"

I remember seeing red all over and I smile but I don't know if I was able to and then black. My whole body felt heavy and I could hear him. Mark he was crying. I couldn't feel very well but I know my lips felt warm from something and I felt at peace. My mind started to get fuzzy and I manage to get out a few words from my cold body before I could officially leave this word, this life, my torment.

"Thank you, . . . Mark for. . . Being here with me. . . But I didn't. . . Want to go on." I gasp and try to sleep. "I'm. . . Tired."

"Seán, your not going anywhere!!!" Warm wet pellets got my face.

I wish things were different. Then I wouldn't have done this act. But it was for the best.

I close my eyes and I could hear Mark's voice fade saying my name repeatedly and loudly along with the last second sound of sirens. With my final words I say to Mark.

"I love you, mark." My breathing stops and I feel relaxed and my mind escapes my body. 'Thank you for everything.'

"SEÁN!!!!"