My Beautiful Disaster

Ch. 15 Too Young

Farkle's P.O.V

(A/N One month later...)

I sat in Riley's hospital room, holding onto her cold hand and bouncing my leg. She's been in a coma for a month now. All my injuries had time to heal and they even cleared up the murder trial. And remember how my mom had kicked me out the house and that's kinda how this all started in the first place?

Yah, it was so she could sober up. And throw away all her drinks. And make it so that Alya could move back in. She was in the room too. I finally forgave her and immediately relapsed into the momma's boy I used to be. Right now she was looking at me worriedly, probably because I haven't eaten in five days and haven't moved from this spot either. I'm too worried.

Riley's supposed to live. She's supposed to be free and independant and happy and bubbly and be in love with Lucas and I ruined all that. I ruined it the minute I didn't listen to Maya and played Riley anyway. I took advantage of her. I put her here. Now she might die. I would've killed three (those heathens from Leon's gang don't count) people....

"Farkle...Farkle....FARKLE!" Maya shouted, snapping me out my thoughts.

"Huh?" I answered.

I looked at her and she sighed.

"Look...it's not your fault. Look I know I technically have the right to hate you but, I want to be your friend. And as your friend I think you should eat. Riley..she's--"

"She's not. She isn't. I know she isn't. She would'nt just...leave me here." I breathed.

Lucas is here too. His jaw was set firm even though his cheeks were stained with tears.

"Look Minkus...Farkle....I don't like you. You had sex with my girlfriend [A/N Just incase you forgot you#LittleDisasters that's Maya, remember?] and took advantage of Riley and are an all around jerk but...you can't deny that what was supposed to be her waking up from anestesia in three hours is instead her in a coma for a month." He sighed.

"She's alive." I said stubbornly.

"C-Can I have a second with Farkle?" My mom spoke up.

Maya and Lucas nodded and walked out. I didn't look away from Riley's face. I only rubbed my thumb in circles on her hand, and held it tighter. It's so cold.

"Farkle...honey...look I know love when I see it. I mean, it's why I went crazy when your father died. But, sometimes we just need to accept that we missed our chance. Is it that you need closure? That you didn't get to...do or say something and your scared she'll never know?" My mom asked.

"Mom..." My voice cracked.

"I told her I love her. She told me she loves me. W-We've technically had sex...not the way I wanted to but... I can't let her go. I love her too much." I breathed.

"I don't think that's it." She stated.

"What else could it be? I-I wanted to spend the rest of my c-crazy life with her. Now I'm the reason that she won't get a life at all." I stammered, my eyes stinging.

"First of all, it wasn't your fault--"

"Yes it was." I said, shaking my head.

"Yeah, and I'm a drunk abuser."

"No, you're not. You were. But that wasn't you fault....Oh." I breathed getting her point.

"Exactly. And what do you mean spend the rest of your life with her? You're only 17 and up to this point have never been in love. How do you know she's the one?" My mom asked.

"Because...because I am a horrible person. And somehow she loves me. Somehow she made and the stars shine brighter and sun seem closer and I'm sorry mom, god, universe--but she does not compare. She got me to love her. Mom...love hurts."