My Beautiful Disaster

Ch. 6 Kisses and Loneliness

And the fact that I didn't know what he was feeling scared me. More than it should've...

Riley's P.O.V

"It's weird..you not being happy perky Riley, yet you haven't changed. You're just not happy or perky because you can't remember what makes you...you." Farkle said almost in a trance.

"Are you...reading my mind or something?" I asked weirdly.

"Not exactly. I'm just good a reading people in general." Farkle explained smiling a little.

"That's cool. Hey, can I ask you a question?" I poked fearing this question for the longest time.

"Sure." Farkle replied turning to me fully.

"Was I liked--am I liked? Is that part of the reason I tried to commit suicide? I mean what did people like--or hate-- about me?"I questioned un-consciously picking at Farkle's finger tips.

He was looking at our hands, my hands picking at his fingers, as if he was looking a def man listening to Taylor Swift, a.k.a impossible and weird. He stammered incoherently for a second before blinking a few times and looking at me like I'd just asked the dumbest question ever.

"Are you kidding? The school practically revolves around you, your friends and classmates all adore you. I'm new and I picked that up because well...let's just say you're likeable."

"What's there to adore?" I asked genuinely curious.

I've looked in the mirror, my face is familiar but in the way an old friend's is. I didn't see anything to "adore" or "revolve around" I saw plain messy hair, big dumb eyes, rough acne-riddled skin, nothing glorious that would make me likeable.

"Outside...everything. You have an hourglass figure with everything in the right place. Milky brown hair that flows just right, beautiful innocent brown eyes, amazing naturally tan skin, you have quite the as--Let me stop myself before I go a bit far for just a friend." Farkle chuckled mumbling the last part to himself.

Well now I want to know what he was about to say. As-- what? What's an as?

(A/N Ass, Riley. He was complementing your ass.)

"Inside...everything too. You're sweet and kind and for some reason really trusting. Even if your life is falling apart you smile and laugh at it, you're so pure and modest. Basically the opposite of me...or what I pretend to be or what Maya describes me as, you're the complete opposite of that. You're perfect, beautiful, you are an amazing freak of nature that can get a guy with a heart of stone to like her in three days." Farkle smiled.

Was he talking indirectly about himself? Is it bad that I hope he is? Is it bad that I'm starting hear and see tiny flashes of my life--mostly my short time with Farkle. I turned to him and examined him weirdly.

"You're not this...bad boy that everyone describes. Why are you only you around me?" I asked softly.

"I guess you rubbed off on me...but the type washes off around other people. All I know is that I li-....I li-...I like you. I'm not sure how it happened or why I do or even how much I do but I just do." Farkle admitted looking down almost unsure for once.

"I think I like you too. I think that I have since that date thing in the park." I mumbled giving into the gnawing feeling in my chest.

"How could you think you like me? You barely knew me before and you can't remember me now." Farkle chuckled lowly.

"I just do, the way you look at me makes me feel something. I'm pretty sure I know what a crush feels like." I retorted and his look changed to skepticism-- towards the first or last part I'm not sure