Enticing (Harry Styles AU) #Wattys2016

Chapter 69.

"You want to known if I'm okay?" He asks, narrowing his eyes slightly, leaning off the headboard and automatically I pull back.

"Yeah," I hesitantly mutter, shifting off his lap and onto the mattress beside him.

"No, I'm not okay. I'm not okay because it's like no matter what I do or where I go I'm always being judged."

"I'm not okay because people think that I don't know that I don't deserve you, but trust me baby I sure as hell do." He nods. "Do you think it makes me happy, knowing that every single time you hang out with your friends and Gavin is there, that I don't know he is planning a way to take you away from me."

I jerk my head back. "Harry that's-"

"And you pretending like it isn't happening and that it is not true, doesn't make it any easier for me."

"What are you saying?" I quietly ask.

"Do you think I don't see how much of a worthless fuck up I am? Do you honestly think that I don't see how sad it makes you knowing that we won't actually be a normal couple?" He says raising his hands, making air quotes with his fingers.

"It makes you sad and yet you do it to yourself." Harry adds accusingly.

"What? W-what do you mean?" I ask, basically saying the same question as before, not able to think of anything else to say. His words, his rambling confession, is taking me off guard.

"I mean before me you were with my brother. He treated you like shit and yet you still stayed with him and now you're with me and your life is literally in danger and you're still here." He says, aggravated and my heart sinks as he looks forward and away from me. I watch his green eyes reflect the light from the bedside table, making them look warm but I could also see the hint of worry, as a few ticking seconds pass by without him saying anything.

Is this about him not being good enough for me? He is good enough, way more than enough. Are we back to that?

Harry licks his lips, shaking his head while looking down at his lap.

"You were already a bloody, broken mess with your life before I meet you and then with me swooping in," Harry states, waving his hand in the air before letting it drop, looking up and forward again towards the fireplace. "Only messed you up even more."

I blink, feeling tears quickly burn and fill my eyes. What? Is he serious?

Harry casually turns his head to look at me and I watch the small scowl on his face disappear and his eyes widen in realization of his words.

"Shit. Ryder,I didn't mean-"

Quickly, I turn and rush off the bed, scurring across the bedroom.

"Ryder,hold on." Harry says close behind me as I step into the bathroom. "I didn't-"

I cut him off short, shutting the door behind me before turning the lock. Turning around, I place my hand over my mouth letting out a sob.

"Ryder, please open the door." Harry speaks.

I shake my head, ignoring his pleading attempts and walk towards the sink. Gazing at my reflection in the mirror, while resting my hands on the side of the counter, I am met with a girl with wide brown, yet vacant eyes and tear stained cheeks. As I scan myself, half of me realizes that Harry is right, I am broken. I have been broken all this time. My life is a mess and I feel like a stray unwanted dog, tossed around and judge by my flaws.