It all...
"Would you still love me if you knew beforehand that I was sick?"
Random thoughts were circling my head so I asked my wife that question. She looked at me with her cute shocked face which then suddenly turned to her usual poker face. I got why she gave me that look tho. She was contemplating on my question because it took her aback. It's also her thinking face. Akala mo wala siyang pakialam sa question but she's just thinking.
I waited for a while and her response surprised me. It was short but it was enough to touch my heart and leave it pounding out of my chest.
Her answer?
"No."
I felt a bit hurt but then it hit me.
Who would love a dying person? I mean you can love someone who's dying but not romantically tho.
Well, in some cases that would be true love and the acceptance is there. But for some, they opt to let go of the person they love in order for them to live normally and happily without feeling guilty. Guilty of cheating over someone who is already dead. I mean let's face it. Kahit gaano mo kamahal kung alam mong oras mo na pakakawalan at pakakawalan mo siya.
Masakit oo, pero that doesn't mean na puro na lang sakit after they passed on. We all have to move on and in order to move on, there should be a force pushing us to move and for most people letting go of someone tgey love, would be that force.
May the force be with you.
I gave her a sad smile before looking at the perfect view in front of us. Na sobrang perfect and serene para sirain at dramahan lang. We were on our weekend date and our hands were tightly intertwined at the perfect spot where we are seated. And sobrang romantic ng ambiance but when I popped the question, ramdam mong naging cold bigla.
Me: Thank you for telling me.
Medyo masakit, well in general masakit. But can I blame her?
Naging honest lang naman siya and she speaks her mind which is one of the reasons why I love her. She will tell you what she honestly thinks and give you a straightforward answer. Yung walang paligu-ligoy. Kung masasaktan ka, kasalanan mo yun ikaw nag-open up ng issue sa kanya eh.
Her: Yun ba yung gusto mong marinig?
She asked with her voice cracking na ikinagulat ko. I did not expect her to react that way. I looked at her and found her staring at the view while she's crying. Poker face pa din but you can see sadness in her eyes. Kabisado ko yung mata niya and madalas mas nagkakainitindihan kami kapag nagtititigan lang.
Me: Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. It was an out of the blue question and I didn't mean to offend you or anything, Babe.
I side hugged her to make her stop from crying but maybe it was a wrong move kasi lalo siyang naiyak. I kissed her head to calm her and make her feel that I'm really sorry for what I asked.
Her: Ikaw kasi eh.
Hinampas niya ako sa braso and she even pushed me.
Her: I hate you for asking that question. Hindi ko alam kung magagalit ba ako or magiging cheesy ako dahil sa tinanong mo. Would we last this long if I don't love you? Would I dream of a future with you if hindi kita gusto? I love you and kahit may sakit ka mamahalin at mamahalin pa din kita. Kahit mas maaga naitng nalaman na may sakit it wouldn't matter kasinagustuhan na kita.Kasi mahal kita.
Me: I'm a lucky bastard huh?
Her: Yes you are and I'm lucky to call you my bastard.
Natawa naman ako sa sinabi niya. I held her face and fixed her hair. I even wiped the tears that are still flowing from her eyes. Cute ng baby. Iyak iyak iyak siya eh.cRed nose si Rudolph. Mataba si Santa Claus and maganda si Maria Makiling na bida sa Moana joke. If you've watched Moana guys, parang si Maria Makiling talaga si Te Fiti. Tho mas maraming characters included sa Moana. Great movie, you better watch it hehe.
