Dear Diary

Dear Diary 1

Dear diary,
My mom bought you so that I can express my feelings. She said it makes you clam after. I don't believe her though. This will never work. But I can't help but write to you. So here I am, how should I start this.

Well, I live with my mom and little sister. My name is Noah Aaron Polious. I love drawing, singing and the sound of the waves crashing against the sand. I hate homophobic people, yeah, I'm gay. I also hate fake friends. They use you and throw you aside one day. You just can't trust anyone. You wanna know another secret ?? I cut. Yeah, I cut myself.  That's the reason why am I'm writing in this book. A book that's not alive.

You wanna know the reason why I do myself that ? Well, let's just say, snitches get stitches. And since from that one day in that place, I regret being alive.

Anyways, forget about that. I'll tell you the positive things about me. Today is the positive side. They'll be a negative don't worry.

My likes are :
As I said, drawing singing and listening to the waves crash into the sand.
There's also :
Writing
Dancing
Playing piano and guitar
Sad/Suicidal/Rap songs
Music (mostly rock. But I do listen to some pop.)
Sharp things (we all know why)
Blood dripping to the floor. It just kinda relieve me.

I guess that's all so far. I've been best friends with this guy for a long time. We met when we were in 2nd grade. He used to do everything together. Literally. We'd bath together (we stopped when we were 11 years old) eat together, sleep together. Sometimes we'd even say the same sentence out loud. But one day that all changed because of what I did to him. It was not even bad. Here's what happened...

Flashback...

Noah's POV.

"Noah, tell me what happened right now, or the both of you are gonna get a suspension." The principal said. I looked at him shocked.
"But..But sir, I have nothing to do with this. " I said. It was true. I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom and and when I reached lower down the hall, I heard someone crying and screaming. Me being the little boy I was back then went to check it out. The sight before me made me cling. There stood my best friend, Jayden, punching a kid younger than him. The little boy looked around the age of 9 or 10. I couldn't believe this. But it's exactly what I saw.

I started to walk over to Jayden but stopped when I saw the principal coming. Since he was coming, I decided to just leave it with him and go back to class. But he stopped me before I took one step.
"Noah, did you see what happened ?" He asked. Jayden looked at me and shook his head slowly. I shook my head saying,
"No sir."
"Noah don't lie to me. Who was walking away from the fight. It looked obvious." He said.
"I'll ask again, did you see what happen Noah ?" He asked. I sighed.
"Yes sir." I said giving up. I could feel Jayden tense up.
"Good, what happened ?" He asked again. Oh my goodness. I said that I know, now let me go !!

"Jayden was punching...Umm." I began but stopped when I realise I didn't know the boy's name.
"A-adam." He stuttered. Nice name.
"Thanks. Jayden was punching Adam and I happen to hear him scream as I was walking down the hall to go to the bathroom." I said. He nodded. Jayden glared at me.

"Sorry." I mouthed to him. He just glared harder as the principle took him by the shoulder and brought him to the office.

Flashback over.....

From that day, he started acting cold towards me. He used to push me into the walls and tell me how I'm stupid and that no one loves me. But that was in primary school. In high school, things changed. Badly.

He began to punch me and spit on me. He pushes me into the walls. He tells me how I should kill myself cause no one cares. I believed him. I tried to do it. Several tines. I got out from the mental hospital a few weeks ago. My parents have been keeping an eye on me. Well, my mom. My dad left us for another bitchy slut  when I was 5. God, I hate him for that. Sooooo much. But I'll never see his face again. I hope.

My mom was right after all. You're a good listener. I kinda like talking to you. Well...I gotta say good bye now. Byeee !! I'll you about my day tomorrow.

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

First chapter !! Was it good ?? Hope you liked it. If you did give this chapter a vote. It might save a puppy's life ;) and don't forget to leave a comment. Love you guys !! Even though I don't know one thing about you. Stay safe !! 😘😁😊😇