All We Have

Lessons

As I dreamt, my past replayed itself.

*Jasmine Age 5*

"Daddy, where's mommy?" I asked, sitting on his lap while he was watching television.

My father's eyes started to tear and I knew I never wanted to see that again in my life.

"She left" was all he said as he pushed me off his lap onto the ground.

*******

*Jasmine Age 12*

"Lincoln!" I screamed as I felt cold fear wash over me. I was stuck in the basement again, tied to a wooden beam under the stairs.

I shook as I began to get colder. I heard the door open and I closed my eyes tightly, hoping it wasn't my father.

I was wrong.

"Shut up you little shit!" He screamed as he came to stand in front of me. His foot kicked out and hit me in the ribs.

"Daddy why are you doing this to me? I'm sorry, I'm sorry !" I yelled, afraid and trying to get loose.

"You cannot backtalk your father!" he yelled as he took off his belt and began to whip me with it.

He was mad because earlier Lincoln had made me a sandwich and I told him I didn't like it and daddy insisted I ate it. I tried but I threw up and now I'm down here.

Why doesn't he just love me? All my friends at school have nice daddys.

I tried to stop thinking about the pain and then I heard running steps down the stairs.

"Dad, Mr. Jones is outside" Lincoln said, averting his eyes from my back.

Our father just snorted and went up the stairs. Lincoln untied my hands and carried me to my room carefully.

****

*Jasmine Age 15*

I was locked in the basement again. I had gotten a C on a test and my father said I brought shame upon us.

He was currently behind me carving a C into my shoulder blade as I cried. It hurts so bad, but I learned to not make a sound. It would only make it worse.

"All you are is a fuck up!" He yelled as he brought the knife down into my back, stabbing me. He then kicked me in the shoulder and continued to stomp my arm, despite my cries of pain.

Lincoln wasn't here to save me. I didn't know how long I could deal with this.

He finally left me to pass out on the floor.

******

I woke up, trying not to scream. It was just now beginning to be light outside. I felt along my arm, where after he had carved my back up, I had to get Lincoln to set it because it had broken.

No one else in the camp seemed to be awake so I gladly took this time to walk down to the lake and take a bath.

I stripped down out of my clothes and jumped into the water, taking my soap with me. After I had deemed myself clean enough, I got out and dried off as best as I could.

I heard a twig snap and stopped moving. I lifted my head up and looked at the woods, but all I saw was a squirrel. I shook my head at my worry and quickly got dressed.

I walked up to the truck and got my brush out of my bag. I then brushed my hair and French braided it down my back.

I smiled at Lori while I was braiding, seeing her up and about making breakfast. After I was done, I walked over and asked her if I could help.

"No you cant!" Andrea exclaimed as she walked out of the RV. "We are going to go do our lessons."

I sighed and fake pouted to Lori. She laughed and shot me a wink as Andrea pulled me away.

"So I love your hair!" Andrea gushed as we walked into the woods.

I carefully stepped over the string with cans hanging from it as I replied, "Thanks, I can do yours if you'd like?"

"Mines too short," she said, "But yours looks great. Plus I don't have anyone to look good for now anyways"

She laughed as she answered me and I shot a smile, but inside I was sad.

"I don't want to be lonely forever" She said as she sobered up.

"Me either" I shook my head, "But this whole walker thing is kinda killing my get a date vibe"

I burst out laughing.

"Well Shane is really hot!" Andrea gossiped to me as we walked. "Daryl isn't so bad either."

"Who's Daryl?" I questioned, not remembering the name.

"Oh that's Merle's brother." She waved a hand dismissively. "He is pretty hot but emotionally unavailable I guess. He doesn't talk too much and just hunts. He seems nicer than his brother though."

I shrugged. "I'll take your word for it"

We finally reached the clearing and she stopped walking. She abruptly turned around and ran at me. I moved to the side out of her way.

"What the hell!" I exclaimed.

"Sorry, just making sure you are awake" She laughed and I shook my head. This chick is crazy!

She handed me a knife and took a target out of her pocket.

"I'm okay at throwing knives so I'm gonna try to teach you that first."

I nodded as she put the target on a tree about 15 feet from me. She walked back from me and pulled another knife out of her pocket.

"Alright. I always hold the knifes handle in my fingers like this, and aim the tip of the blade for the middle of the target. I close one of my eyes too" She instructed me, and then threw her knife.

It hit the target, a little above the bulls eye. And so began my instruction.

*A few hours later*

I walked back towards camp a little worn out. Andrea was beside me talking up a storm and I kind of tuned her out. I liked her just fine, but I was exhausted.

I saw my father leaning on my truck looking around and I winced. He saw me and immediately there was a thunderous expression on his face.

He stalked towards me and grabbed my upper arm.

"And where the fuck have you been?" He demanded, pulling me towards him. I didn't answer and he shook me. "Answer me!"

"I was learning how to throw knives." I whispered.

"Your worthless! You probably didn't hit a damn thing! You cant just leave me here with those damn brats" He burst out, not minding that everyone seemed to be looking our way.

I shrunk back from the looks, trying not to be scared but this man was what ruled my nightmares. He tortured me and made my life hell. The 10 years I had to myself had almost been too much relief, only having to see him occasionally to let him see the twins.

Oh, the twins. I hope they aren't around right now.

He shook me again to make me look at him.

"I'm sorry" I whispered.

His hot breath fanned across my face as he got closer. "Sorry doesn't fuckin cut it you useless bitch"

He slapped me across the face so hard I fell to the ground. He then kicked me but somebody stopped him before he could do further damage.

"Now that aint now way ta treat a lady"

I looked up and saw Merle. This man just loved saving me. I met his eyes and he winked.

"Ge the fuck out of my business." My dad snapped.

"If ya hit her or ye family 'gain, Ill kill ya. Now git" Merle threatened, shoving him down on the ground.

He turned around and grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet. I saw the group staring shocked as Merle helped me towards his tent.

And that's how I became friends with the unlikelist of people.