Do I Scare You?- [Zayn Malik AU]

Chapter 48. {Karma}

{{ok so basically, I can't wait any longer to hit the goal of 20 votes, because it just seems to impossible haha, therefore because I've written so many chapters already, in advance ((on chapter 56 at the current moment)) I JUST NEED TO UPDATE BECAUSE I WANT TO READ YOUR VIEWS;)) -Tanisha .xox}}

"We need to go back--"

"--let's just talk first, please? We haven't had a proper heart to heart talk in days now." Zayn pleaded me, locking our fingers together.

I nodded and together we walked down to the nearest deserted park, both sitting down on the grass bank. I watched the way his eyebrows furrowed together at whatever though that was running through his mind, then the crease soon faded and his hazel eyes met mines.

"I want to know something.... so I need you to answer me honestly. No lies." his eyes had grew serious, and I gulped nervously. I don't know why this has turned into such an intense moment.

"Do you- do you love... Niall? Do you feel anything for him? Because-- because if you do... I need to know now, before I plan his death. If you do feel anything... I won't hurt him, because I don't want to hurt you."

The way his eyes were full of sadness, he didn't seem like the cocky, full of himself, guy that I met at his doorstep all those months ago. Instead his guards were down, and he looked... almost venerable. You could see the pain in his expression as he spoke his words. I couldn't help but let out a small giggle, which turned into a hysterical laugh, causing him to immediately tense and frown at me.

"Wha-what's so funny?! I'm being damn serious here. This isn't a joke! I need to know, NOW. I can't-- I won't live with myself if you--" and I kissed him. I pushed him back against the grass bank and kissed him. It was my way of saying: 'shut the hell up, you idiot! It's you that I like. Don't make me say it out loud. I know you want me to say it, but I can't... I'm too scared of loosing you. It was never Niall-- and it never will be Niall. It's always you, you muppet'.

"I--is that--was that--"

"--it's you, Zayn. You're the one I like. I don't want you to kill Niall, because I know you'll get put in jail, and I couldn't stand to watch you rot there with your life sentence. I wouldn't know what to do with my life--and I'm sure the boys feel the exact same. Your gang would crumble without their leader. I will do everything I can to stop you from killing Niall. He's not worth it. He's not worth it at all." I cut off Zayn's confused sentence, and I tell him exactly what I was thinking--the honest truth, just like how he asked.

The silence haunts upon us and I wish we could just talk more. I wish this tensed barrier between us would crumble down. I was hoping that kiss would break it... it didn't.

I don't like how despite everything, he's still so guarded. He's still keeping so much from me... including his past. I want to know, I need to know what's hurting him so I can help.

How can I help if I don't know what's wrong?

~*~*~*[Zayn]*~*~*~

[flashback]

"Hey dad. Do you want to play football with me today? I'm getting better, honestly. I'm really trying. Hopefully I can be part of the school team soon. I want you to come home, though. I don't know where you are... but I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I pushed you away, dad. It's my fault, isn't it? All the constant arguments between you and mum. I'm sorry, dad. I'll be a better son... Just come home. Please?"

"Zayn sweetheart... Let's go home." my mother's hand touched my shoulder and I flinched slightly, almost forgetting I wasn't alone. I get up from the muddy grass, where I was kneeling and stand up to face my mother. She wore a sad expression on her face, and I could see the clear pain in those soft brown eyes of hers. I'm glad that they're no longer red from the endless nights of crying. Now that my father had died, she would have no abuse at home. No. All she had to worry about was me. I knew, and she knew, that she can't control me anymore.

I'm too wild. I can't even control myself sometimes... I just.... I just snap, and when I open my eyes... there's destruction around me.

"I'm glad he died, mum. We're better off without him." my change of tone clearly shocks my mother.

"Zayn. You shouldn't say such things. It's not right. Your father--"

"--my father was a prick and we all know it, so don't you dare deny it, mum. He hit you, punched you, did whatever he could to make your life a living hell! Why didn't you go, mum? Why didn't you just run away?! You could've. I would've helped you--"

"--I would never leave you alone. I can't leave you, Zayn. Only when I feel that you're safe, only then can I let you go. I'm always going to be your mother. No matter how many times you try and push me away, I'm always going to be the woman who brought you into this world. If I could teach you one thing in my lifetime, it would be to treat others how you want to be treated. If you treat people horribly, that horrible behaviour is going to come straight back to you. Karma will come back to you, Zayn." she touches my hand and for once, I don't pull away. it's not like me to let anyone have any physical contact with me. I'm not the lovey-dovey kinda person. My heart is made of stone. It's frozen after my father's death. And I hope frozen it'll remain frozen.

"Just like dad... he treated us... badly... so in the end, he got treated badly. It was his own fault. He brought this on himself. Whoever killed him--they just gave him what Karma wanted him to have."

My mother doesn't respond anymore, because I know she knows I'm right.

~*~*~

Karma... that will get Niall, won't it? He's killed so many people. He's the one with the heart of stone. I bet he's never cared for anyone-- never loved. He never will love. I thought I was like that-- I thought I would never come close to liking anyone...

Sophia... she changed me in a heart beat.

I don't know if that's a good thing, or bad. Love has it's fair share of pros and cons.

"We need to get our mothers back, though. We'll go back to the den and formulate a plan. This time, with everyone in--that's including Nikki. We're going to need her." I take hold of Sophia's hand and help her to her feet. Her brown eyes are full of confusion, but there is no time to explain.

Looking back at the past makes me realise why I'm meant to be where I am now. Niall wasn't a good leader. He didn't know about team work... instead he was just ruthless.

He didn't have a team like I am. They were more like his slaves, but they were too stupid enough to realise that. And even when they finally figured out that they were being used, it was too late... Niall killed them.

How can he live with that--that guilt? Innocent people--well, they were all morally wrong in some shape or form, but they just needed a second chance in life, like I have got.

"Call Max, Seev, Jay, and Nathan then meet me back at the den in five minutes, flat." I called Tom, and he hung up quickly, obeying my orders.

We worked as a team, not as individuals... that's what makes us work.

"You scared yet, babe?" I looked down at Sophia who's lips with twitching into a smirk. Her brown eyes are sparkling with excitement.

"Nope. I trust you."

That's my girl.

{{omg--what? Karma? Ha. I don't know what to say actually;) I want to ask you guys something though... how old do you think I am? Idk. Anyways, hope you all liked that, and the drama which shall come in the next chapters... I bet you realised by now, that I seriously LOVE drama. Okay, Goal: 18 votes, because 20 seems to hard:(( love you all-Tanisha .xox}}