Paper Flowers (Pretty Plastic People) ★

037. The Last Secret

My house is empty when I get home—Dad's at work and Allison's in school, exactly where I should be.  I get ready in record time and grab a muffin on my way back out, surprisingly hungry despite all my stress.  For the first time in a while, I push the speed limit and make it to school just as second period is ending.

I feel refreshed, a result of a good night's sleep.  I'd felt secure in Taylor's room, and his arms around me had convinced me that nobody could hurt me while he was there. I'd slept soundly with no disruptions and no nightmares, and when I'd looked in the mirror this morning the dark circles hadn't been quite so prominent.

My sense of peace doesn't last for long, though.  As I head to AP Government Allison grabs my arm and tugs me to the corner of the hallway, her eyes wide.

"Where were you last night?" she demands.  "You got lucky Dad had an overnight business trip and didn't notice you were gone."

"I—"  My mouth is frozen, halfway open, my jaw stuck.  I can't ask anybody to cover for me because that would prompt an explanation.  And yet what else can I say? 

My mind operates in overdrive for several seconds, my eyes tracing the links on Allison's chain necklace.  Then I take a deep breath and plunge in.  "I—you can't tell anyone this, okay?  I'm serious.  Don't breathe a word."

"Okay," she says, but now her blue eyes look like they're about to pop out of her head.

"I slept over at Spencer's last night.  I know we're broken up, that's why I don't want anyone to know.  Don't even talk to him about it.  He—I think he was kind of drunk, he probably doesn't even remember. Seriously.  It'll make things more complicated if you say anything.  Just forget it ever happened, okay?"

"Okay..."  She trails off, but then lights up again.  "Erika, no way!  Did you sleep with him?  You were a virgin, right?"

"Yeah, sure."  I run my hands through my hair, which I realize I'd forgotten to brush.  It's still matted and infused with static from Taylor's sheets.  "I guess we had sex.  Whatever.  No big deal."

I want this conversation to end, because it borders too close to the truth.  Same situation, different guy.  I'm telling Allison too much for comfort.

"Are you okay?  You look a little shaken up.  And Spencer's in calc class today.  Did you stay at his house later than him?"

My stomach drops, and for a second I think my lie is already backfiring.  But I recover almost too easily, a sign of all the practice I've had at deception, and say breezily, "I'm fine.  And I went back to my house to freshen up and stuff.  I just needed some time."

Allison nods sagely.  "I'm sure Mrs. Rutledge will let you make up the quiz.  Now hurry up or you'll be late for third period."

My head is still spinning but I obediently leave her and jog up the stairs.  For the first time I feel immense guilt from lying.  It doesn't matter that I did it to protect myself—Allison's my sister and my best friend.  Does she deserve this?

~*~*~

Lunchtime finds me still guilty.  I'm seated between Allison and Spencer, and my sister keeps glancing at me sideways like she's trying to gauge the reaction between me and my ex.  Spencer, naturally, is completely oblivious, carrying on an enthusiastic conversation with Liam about the previous night.

"You need to get out there more," Liam is saying, spooning an enormous bite of pasta into his mouth.  "Seriously, man.  When's the last time you had sex?"

Spencer's silent for a few seconds, but I can't miss the way his eyes flick towards me.  We never got that far, but I know I'm the last girl he's done anything with.  "Too long," he says finally.