Begin Again

Chapter III. Lost Home

Sometimes we just have to take a step back in our lives, and think things through. Is this how you want to live? Is this where you wanted to be a year or ten years ago? How can you improve your life? How can you tone it down and make things okay again? Will it ever be okay again?

Sadness swims and lurks in the deepest parts of the human mind, it's a never ending dark weather that takes over the soul and drains it out. I have passed the stage of anger, and emptiness. Now I feel miserable, hurt and sad.

"You sure? Don't you want to stay for a few more days?"

I shake my head. "I really need sometime alone. You and the girls can come on the weekend though."

Her expression lights up then. "Yes! Okay, but if you need anything just call me right away, alright?"

"Sure." I smile briefly.

She hugs me once again tightly. "You'll be okay, Taylor."

"I know." I whisper and step back. "Uh...so everything is in there? Sure?"

"Yeah, literally grabbed everything that belongs to you. I even looked in his stuff. I also grabbed your shampoos and soaps and all those things, I put them in a plastic bag first though. It's like you were never there." She assures me.

I purse my lips. All the more evidence that this has happened. And it's real. And there's no going back.

"Okay, now go before I force you to stay here and lock the door." She grins.

I let out a laugh. "That's your nice way of kicking me out, alright." I raise my hands in surrender while smiling.

"Get out." She laughs and guides me to the front door. "And don't forget to call me when you get there."

"Sure, bye Kar. I love you."

"Love you too, take care of yourself."

I smile at her, heading to the elevator and she closes the door.

+++

Along the long drive, I kept the volume up and my shades on. Somehow I managed to remain calm, even though my thoughts were always going from a place to another, not leaving me take a rest.

Memories keep resurfacing in my mind, some flashing before my eyes as they were more vivid  than others. I know where I'm about to go is not going to help, as it's where everything started, but I can't think of anywhere else to escape to. And at the moment, the songs that keep playing, they just spark up memories or play things that I wish Harry would have said or thought of.

My phone buzzes repeatedly, but I know it's not Harry because he stopped after last night. The last text he had sent was I'm sorry. I bet he is. Sorry that he's caught.

I answer the phone.

"Taylor!"

I wince at the loud squeal, and turn down the music and put her on speaker. "Hey, Karls. "

"Are you there yet?" She asks.

"Almost."

"Great. Well, good news, guess who's coming to keep you company?"

I raise a brow up. " You?"

"Ha! I wish. Nah, Cara will come. I spoke to her just now and explained everything, she'll be there by seven tonight."