Fighting for what was mine all along (A Meliodas x reader)🤗

Chapter 38: a real hero

Meliodas's point of view

I'm reliving this horror.... all over again. My heart being broken, piece by piece, very slowly, every second as the wind flows through my delicate, but lifeless hair. Having my bangs fall right in front of my eye, like curtains over a window, preventing light from coming inside. Hearing nothing but silence and a ringing sensation flying through my ears, after feeling like I've just been shot in the head and lost all my hearing. There wasn't one glance of sunlight shinning down from the gray, cloudy sky, as smoke fills the air, making it thicker and harder to breathe.
I felt like and doll, sitting on the highest level of the book shelf. Collecting dust, and having everything in life past me by like it was nothing, but I was wrong. I haven't moved yet. Not because I was waiting for the sick monster to come crawling at me, it's just that I couldn't move. Not one inch of my body could move after hearing ban's foot steps disappear  from my world. My feet was stuck to the grown. I felt like a dead tree. Being stuck to grown, not growing at all. Having the wind past u, every time something bad happened. Having ur tears fall down down ur cheek, like leaves after breaking, and falling from the tree. Not being able to control when they fell down, of when it happens. I felt like I was getting pulled into the grown, by all the pain I was feeling. Like it was trying to mentally and physically kill me. I couldn't turn my head to look around to see the damage of the village. Of how horrible it has grown into. I couldn't lift my arms, to be able to feel my chest, and listen out for a heartbeat to see if I was still alive. I couldn't move my hands or wiggle my fingers, to cover my eyes, to cover all my shame and hide my weakness, because it was all showing and pouring out of me. I couldn't bend my knees to the ground to hide my face that didn't show any emotion at the time. I was mixed and fighting with so many different emotions at one time, my face expression couldn't pick an emotion to show. It feels like it just shut down and gave up on me. Putting all the 'showing ur emotions' or ' letting your feelings show' in my hands. But, I didn't know what face expression to show either. I never really show anything but a smile. All I do is smile at the world and see the bright light of things with out ever giving up. But how could I smile, at a moment like this? I needed to show pain, heartbreak, fear, anger, sadness, guilt...... I needed....more like I wanted to show it all because it was way more painful to keep it in. But just like I said, I don't know how. It's just me right now, working by myself. Usually it's my soul, body, and mind that makes me who I am. But my mind, thoughts, and feelings, has frozen. Like a shocking, painfully blizzard just shot through and froze everything. And my soul, turned bitter black. It didn't know what to do next. How to feel, or what to show in that matter. It couldn't picture anything sad, or happy. Its just like when a person closes their eyes when trying to sleep. Once you close your eyes, everything is black. You can't see anything, can't picture anything, and don't know anything. So it felt like being stuck in a situation, when u didn't know what to do, say, or think next. Both, my soul and mind, was just shot by a strong, and powerful bullet, called reality. Shooting right through my heart and skull, telling me to wake up and face the truth. Telling me that nothing was gonna be alright if all I did was show a smile all the time, thinking that I could win every fight I'm in, thinking that I was the powerful one of  all, thinking that nothing could turn my life upside down. Thinking.... that everything and everyone was perfect when it wasn't. I never seen how much pain other people were in, and Never sat back, and thought Of outcomes of the situations I was in. I always believe, we were the best, because we were the seven deadly sins. Because we were strong, because we were made of stones. But I was wrong. We weren't the best because we were the seven deadly sins, it was because we were a family, we were always there for each other. It wasn't because we were made of stones, it was because we were human, because we had feelings, to prepare us for what was coming towards us. To prepare us before getting smacked by life and reality. And it wasn't because we strong, it was because we've been able to stand up to the strongest, and the most powerful ones, with out backing down. It didn't take strong arms to do that? It took a strong heart to go against it. Just like my family did, just like y/n. when she saved me, sacrificed her life for me, when she gave me her power to fight against the demon king. She was the biggest role model in my eyes. Because she didn't have it all. She lost her friends, her home, her family, everything. She's been through hell. She cried everyday, she was hurt most of the time, and she was born in reality. She knew what the world was like. But it didn't stop her, it didn't change her, it didn't change who she was, because that's what kept her going. She knew there would be a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel. She never gave up. She didn't know that everything was gonna be alright, that's not what kept her going. What always kept her going, was her BELIEVING that everything would be all right. if she just tried, and did her best, she thought there would be some good out of it, even if it wasn't a lot. No matter how hard it was or what the cost was.....she was always there, believing in herself and other people. That's was made her y/n. But everything she and the sins were, that's wasn't me. It hasn't been in a long time.
So now I realize, I need to wake up. I need to stop trying to be the perfect hero, and the one who always fixes everything. Because that's not me, that's not the true meliodas that everyone know. I gotta start being me again. I need to stop being the hero all the time. Because a true hero knows the right or wrong, and knows when their confident enough to win that battle that stands before them. A hero goes after what's theirs and what belongs to them, they fight for it. They win it over, and it becomes theirs. What a hero wins over, changes who they are, in a good way, and in a bad way. Because not all hero are perfect. I turned down the wrong path because I was so rushy and eagerd to win this fight, I didn't see the consequences from doing so. And that, that didn't make me a real hero.