XXVII

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Ain't worried bout shit, but making  sure my family & my homies straight. I will live in poverty just to see them smile. We been through too much.
-Joey Fatts

• Something's Gotta Change •

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Something's Gotta Change •

2015

Deja
San Fernando Valley, CA.

I laid in the bed rolled over on my side when I could hear the door creak open

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I laid in the bed rolled over on my side when I could hear the door creak open. "Deja?" I heard Joey's voice say. I popped my head up looking over my shoulder humming a hm as he walked into the room. I breathed out a sigh as I sat up in the bed. Placing my hands in my lap, I look at my still big belly. This didn't help having to still look at it. Joey extended a glass to me and I took it. "Thank you. Can you sit? We need to talk." He nodded his head then sat on the foot of the bed.

When I saw I had his attention I said, "As bad as this sounds...I don't think we were supposed to be having a child together. This time or last time." Just like in high school, I had another miscarriage.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday. We were both 16. The only person we had told was my mother. Joey's mother was too drunk too care. I was 3 months. My mom had it in her mind that I was I was going to put the baby up for adoption, no matter what Joey and I wanted to do. Truthfully, we agreed with my mother. I wanted to graduate high school and Joey had dreams of playing football. A baby would do nothing but ruin that all. Although, a baby wasn't the only thing that ruined our future plans.

"Our relationship has run its course and we both no that. Tell Dyme I'm not mad at her. I was just surprised even though I knew a long time ago you had feelings for her. It was obvious by the way you would defend her before me. You used to tell me to quit being insecure when it came to her, but I knew. It's just I don't think even y'all knew," I said chuckling. "Thank you for letting me stay here. My Momma is coming to get me later on."

"I'm sorry, Deja."

"For what?" I ask with furrowed eyebrows.

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