(BASKET CASE)

deep, warm, euphoria..

it was the strangest thing because i was watching this movie and i felt so much for it for lots of reasons... and by the end i could feel my heart beat all through my body except my head, my head was just full but i couldnt feel my heartbeat there but i could think so many things i thought about you the most but i thought about so so many things and i stayed like that for about 3 hours im not joking since about 7 oclock ive had the funniest experience i can feel my heartbeat everywhere and i just had to tell you because its so strange but i was just thinking about how you should certainly feel things and feel them intensely because it is such a sweet relief and that is the only way i can describe it because it is so crazy. and i feel lots of things for you i cant even explain. things i think about you are like how i feel when im with you or when i think of you i think i dont feel badly or like someone else i feel like more of me like theres so much of me because i guess because i need more of me to experience more of you and i think about how all your smiles and thoughts and the funny things you do and your nose when it crinkles and your lips when they smile and your eyes when you smile too and how your eyes have got to be the best eyes ive ever seen and the way you move. just moving normally i have to admire you just walking its odd i know but its incredible the way you move. and your skin i can write about forever i think every freckle on your skin deserves its own novel and i think about the intimate parts of you you share with me and have shared and i blush and i smile because those are beautiful too..beautiful and pink and precious to not only the intmate parts of me but my mind overflows with symphony because of you and my heart leaps even when im too busy admiring you to take notice and i couldnt possibly tell you any of this because you would never hear the end of it and surely run away but mostly because i couldnt stand myself long enough to get it out much like i cant stand the ticking clock before the end of english class before i get to see you im too eager to hear your words and your laugh and see your eyes looking at my eyes and how you smile oh my god how your skin just is and watching your lips move around the words you speak and i think that alone is the most incredible thing in the universe and i just think you are so fascinating but not in a bug kind of way more like a beautiful creature kind of fantastic way and i told you once before that i think you are the only evidence of god in the world and i will stand by those words now because i really, really do believe them. my heart still pounds around inside and i can still feel it now. i still think of you most but i also think of lots of other things i think about me too i think about how im pretty fantastic too i like to think about that a lot to remind myself im not so bad and that im real too just like all the things im experiencing and seeing and feeling like my heart all around me now and how i must be a beautiful creature too or otherwise i couldn't see all the beauty that i do and the incredible things in the world like you.
and i like you a lot, all of you, not just the obvious parts.