discontinued // my winged warrior // phan

☾Seventeen☽

I was confused.

"Please, Phil. Just for tonight, let's pretend that I'm obnoxious and flirty again, and you're too shy to notice. Let's pretend that I never took you to that stupid fucking party, and I never hooked up with Chris. Let's pretend I never left. Let's pretend that you don't know how much of a fuck-up I am."

"And Phil, just this once, please pretend that I don't love you. Pretend that I never did."

☾❀☽

I was hugging him. I was hugging him and I didn't care. Because the second I listened to his words it didn't matter anymore.

Suddenly, it was the beginning of the year. I didn't know him yet, and he was so beautiful. He didn't know me as anything other than the shy kid, and he was so kind. Suddenly it was back before things started hurting and I was happy and I was hugging him.

☾❀☽

"Hey, buttercup," he whispered.

"My name's Phil," I whispered back.

"Okay, muffin, lets go exploring."

Dan pulled me up off the bed, and I followed him.

☾❀☽

We were running down the street. Tearing into the night. My hand was in his, and it was very dark. But I didn't care. Because I was young again and he was with me and I was too stupid to notice.

"Where are we going?" I half shouted.

"Does it matter?" he replied, his breathing uneven.

I wasn't the best runner. My legs were too short and my lungs were too weak. I didn't care at all. I was too happy to notice.

☾❀☽

We were lost. Beautifully, magnificently lost.

We had escaped the city again.

Dan and I sat on the side of the road. I was pressed into his lap, our fingers still intertwined.

He was staring at the sky. And in that second, I saw it again.

I noticed things that I'd began to look over. I noticed the things I only saw when we first met.

And then I remembered why he used to remind me of the stars in the sky.

He was staring up at the moon and smiling. He was laughing a little too. His eyes were crinkling at the edges, the way he did when he was happy. Light seemed to radiate off of him.

And I swear, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't look away.

He was just so beautiful.

☾❀☽

"Dan?"

"Hm?"

We were lying in the centre of the road now, thankful that it was too late for cars.

The road we were on was unpaved. Corn fields were on either side of us. We were breathing together.

"I've missed this."

He agreed wordlessly with a nod.

We were quiet then. It wasn't a good silence, though. All the words we wanted to say were in front of us, hanging in the air. Nobody was brave enough to say them.

"I'm sorry, y'know. I never wanted there to be a gap between us. If I could take it back I would."

"Do you regret meeting me then?" I whispered slowly.

"No. Never," Dan said firmly. "I regret making things bad between us."

☾❀☽ ☾❀☽ ☾❀☽

An

Hey.

Merry Christmas.

Next chap might b long, idk

I love you all.

-j