Forgetting Love (Dublin Sisters #2.5)

Chapter 25

He had changed. He had lost immense weight. There were stress lines across his forehead and around his mouth. There were crow feet lines at the corner of his eyes. Her heart went out to him. It was evident he had not only destroyed their home but he was slowly destructing himself in this awful addiction. In the decade of their marriage, she had never seen him break down as now he was weeping on his knees, his head resting on her lap.

She didn't want to give in. She was very hesitant but his sobs were tearing her heart apart. Tentatively, she touched his hair and she saw the change in his stance. His body shuddered violently and when he lifted his head, she couldn't stop herself from wiping his tears from his wet cheeks. His shaking hand touched her hand and pressed it to his bearded cheek.

She wasn't able to look away. She was being mesmerized by those eyes that she had fallen in love at first sight. The separation from him had left hollowness within her. A void that only he was capable of filling. In the last ten years, her life only revolved around him. She took care of his each and every need from washing and ironing clothes to cooking him food and most of all taking care of his children. It was impossible to think life without him.

There was anguish all over his face. His eyes were a window to his soul. She could see a myriad of feelings – regret, agony and love. The love that had grown with each passing day but how easily he had dismissed it because of his momentary pleasure. Slowly, he trailed her hand down his cheek to his rigid jaw until his lips met her skin. An involuntary gasp escaped her lips. Tingles ran up her arm. Memories rushed back. She bit her lower lip and shook her head, with old pleasant memories came sadness as to where they stood in their relationship today.

"Faraz don't."

His eyes looked hard at her, probing for the compassion he knew she concealed with the farce show of firmness and sternness. "Tell me what will make you change your mind and come back home."

She wasn't able to answer under his penetrating gaze. She pried her hand free from his and looked away.

"I need time to think."

He narrowed his eyes, "You have been thinking for three months now."

The agonizing time she spent with him prior to the separation haunted back. The lonely nights, the tiring days of endless chores where there were only the smiles of her children that kept her going on. The absence of a husband and a father from their lives. Too much was at stake. She slowly rose to her feet and walked past him to the window. An unconscious movement to find some sunlight, air, anything from this suffocating present they were living in.

"Faraz how do I know you will not go back to your old habits?" she whispered as she gazed out the front yard. The tall trees stood proudly even in this cold spring day.

"I have been trying Sammy. Working hard to get rid of this filth. I .. just.." in frustration he ran his hand through his overgrown brown hair. "You had always been there in the past to help me overcome anything. I need you now as well as I always had."

She slowly turned around and her eyes searched for any sign of deceit. "You really want to change?" she vocalized her doubt.

He nodded vigorously, "Yeah." He cautiously closed the gap between them, taking her hands in his, "You are my strength. You have always been. The solution to all my problems." He squeezed her hands affectionately.

She desolately smiled. A smile that didn't reach her eyes. Gently, she disentangled her hands from his. Unable to look at him in the eye as she made her decision, her eyes lowered, she said softly, "I will let you know."