LOVE, JOSHUA - H.JS

[ joshua's letter to lilia ]

Lilia,

I'm returning to Seoul tomorrow, but before I go, I wanted to write this letter to you. All the thoughts and feelings that I've been bubbling up inside me are finally overflowing from this pen and I'm leaving this letter for you so that you don't feel that I'm putting you under pressure. I understand that you'll need to take your time to decide what I'm about to say.

I know what's going on, Lilia. You've been my best friend since we were in pre-school and I can see the sadness in your beautiful glittering eyes. I know that Wonwoo isn't away working for the weekend. You could never lie to me; you were always terrible at it. Your eyes have betrayed you time and time again. Don't pretend that everything is perfect because I see it isn't. I see that Wonwoo's a selfish man who has absolutely no idea just how lucky he is to have you. It makes me sick.

He's the luckiest man in the world to have you, Lilia, but he definitely doesn't deserve you and you deserve far better. You deserve someone who loves you with every single beat of his heart, someone who thinks of you constantly, someone who spends every minute of every day just wondering what you're doing, where you are, who you're with and if you're just okay. You need someone who can help you reach your dreams and who can protect you from your fears. You need someone who will treat you with respect, love every single part of you and especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you happy, really happy, the dancing-on-air type of happy. Someone who should have taken the chance to be with you years ago instead of becoming scared and being afraid to try.

I'm not afraid anymore, Lilia. I'm not afraid to try. I know what that feeling was at your wedding - it was jealousy. My heart broke when I saw the women I love turning away from me to walk down the aisle with another man, a man she planned to spend the rest of her life with. Which was why I didn't come. It was like a prison sentence for me - years stretching ahead of me without me being able to tell you how I feel or hold you how I wanted to. It killed me on the inside.

I should have never have let your lips leave mine all those years ago in Seoul. I should never have pulled away. I should never have pulled away. I should never have panicked. I should never have wasted all those years without you. Give me a chance to make them all up to you. I love you, Lilia, and I want to be with you and Yebin. Always.

Please, consider it. Don't waste your time on Wonwoo anymore. This is our opportunity. Let's stop being afraid and take the chance to be together. I promise I'll make you happy. Call me if you feel the same way.

All my love,

Joshua

Immediately after reading the letter, I went straight to my macbook and sent a message to Joshua to see if he was awake.

Miju : imma stop here cause i'm sleepy ~ can i wanna watch princess mononoke xD this letter TT