Shadow Girl (Ongoing)

Chapter 13

When Monday comes, I am a new person. I've spent all of Sunday working from home and had plenty of time to mull over my life. Although Donavan triggered the dark emotions I didn't know I was keeping, he also made me realize that I need to make some changes in my life.

After much deliberation, I've decided that the area that needed most improvement was my social life. My priority might have been finding my parents to see what's become of them now, but I have no interest whatsoever in doing that. So I might try the making friends thing.

After reading some articles and doing some research, I've found that most girls my age:

     1- have between 5-10 friends, of which 1-3 are very close.

     2- attend high school parties.

     3- have a boyfriend.

I can accomplish 1 by joining a club. I've heard of a computer science club in my school but never checked it out. So I'll start there. I consider Samantha a close friend so half the job is done.

For 2, I will force myself to attend at least one party. If I don't like it, then I can at least say I tried.

I'll make sure to include boys in my social interactions so that I can accomplish 3 as well. There's no one in particular that I'm interested in, so I may ask for Samantha's help.

There is also one more thing that is not on my list that I need to get done; and that's apologizing to Donavan. I feel bad for the way I left things on Saturday and didn't take any of his calls on Sunday. I want to tell him that I think more of him than just the school athlete who needs help in math. He's my friend. And for better or worse, he's changed my life.

Samantha is waiting for me at my locker when I arrive.

"Hey, I have-" I'm caught short when I notice Samantha's blazing glare at me. "Are you okay?"

"Why don't you tell ME, Nathalie?!" She exclaims. "Oh. That's right. You don't tell me ANYTHING! Am I even your friend?" Her eyes are full circles and I can tell that she's hurt.

"I-I'm sorry," I reply, stunned. "What is this about?"

That only seems to intensify her anger because her face is starting to turn red. "I have heard from you in DAYS, and you haven't returned ANY of my calls and I don't know what's going on with you or what you're doing or if you're okay," and I have to hear it from MAXON that you and Nate went out this weekend?! I mean, seriously, am I anything more than a-"

I interrupt her tirade by hugging her. I hug her tight so she knows I mean it. I may not be great at being social but Samantha is one person I truly care about. I feel terrible seeing her like this. "I'm so sorry, Sam." I say in earnest. "This week has been crazy for me."

"I horrible and like a terrible friend when Nate asked about you on Friday and I didn't know what to tell him," she chokes on the last words but I pretend I don't notice when I pull back from the hug to look at her.

"And then he asked me to call you and you didn't even answer and I started getting really worried so I kept calling you and-"

"Sam, you're NOT a horrible friend," I interrupt. "In fact, I am. I came here to tell you that I'm gonna be different from now on. I even made a list."

Her face lights up at the last part. "You made a list."

I nod, smiling. Sam knows that I'm serious when i make lists. I always go through with it. No matter the challenge.

"Let me see!"

I pull out the folded paper from my pocket and hand it to her. She all but snatches it from me. I watch her expression light up at my list as she reads.

"Nathalie, this is great!" She exclaimed when she read it. "Especially the boyfriend part," she said while wiggling her eyebrows at me. "So you and Nate..."

It took me a second to catch her meaning. "No!" It came out more forceful than I intended. "No, not Donavan. I was hoping to meet someone new for that part and you could help me."

"Oh. Of course, I would," she seems surprised by my response. "But why not Nate?"

"Well, Donavan is just..."

"Donavan is just what?"

That was NOT Samantha's voice. I turn around to find a six foot two Donavan behind me. I don't think he heard much since Samantha would have surely spotted him earlier if he did.

"Oh, would you look at that," Samantha interrupts nervously. "I'm late for band practice!"

"You're not in a band," I glare at her.

"Right, but bye anyway," she scurries of.

"Why haven't you returned any of my calls?" Donavan wastes no time after Samantha leaves.

It's time to face the music.

"I actually meant to find you and talk to you about something..." I begin. He nods for me to continue, eyes focused on my face. "I'm not accustomed to association with peers for leisure purposes." I notice he's looking at me weirdly and realize I'm being too formal. "I just wanna say thank you for spending that time with me and showing me your hobby, and that from now on I'm going to try to be different."

His face softens at my answer but it changes when I say "different."

"What do you mean "different"?" He asks, taking a step closer.

"Oh, you know..." dammit, Donavan. Why do you have to be so picky?! "I guess I was a bit awkward when we parted ways and I shouldn't have ended things so gloomily."

Donavan shakes his head. "That's not what needs to change, Natalie." He says, the intensity of his gaze makes me want to look away. "Not between you and me, I don't want you to be DIFFERENT."

I'm taken aback by his response. This is not how I imagined things would go, and for the first time of my life, I don't have a backup plan.

"So...you want...?" I say, but I don't even know what he wants.

"I want you to not be afraid of being yourself when you're with me," he states plainly.

"I'm not afraid-" I begin angrily, but he shushes me with a finger over my lips. The shock from this movement succeeds in silencing me.

"When I expressed concern for you back at the tracks," now his expression looks angry, and he lowers his hand from my mouth. "You got mad at me."

He stares at me, his expression daring me to deny it.

This is not at all going as planned.

"And when I tried to talk to you later in the car, you completely shunned me."

I was a fool to think Donavan would let me off that easy. Relax, it's time for change, I remind myself so that I don't follow my instinct which is to walk away.

"And then, you completely ignored ALL of my calls." I wince a little. I did feel guilty about that. "I was heartbeats away from driving over to your apartment to talk to you but I didn't want to freak you out again."

"Okay," my voice comes out surprisingly calm. "What do you want to do now then?"

A strand of my hair had come loose from my pony tail and was dangling over my color bone. Donavan delicately moves it out of the way and tucks the strand behind my ear, then he shifts his focus back to me.

"I don't want to have to convince you that you owe me to spend a day with me," he says finally. "I want you to go out with me."