Love Hate (Carl Grimes)

chapter five // 'talking' and 'hunting'

A/N: Just so you know, Carl is 14 in this story. He looks like he does in season 4, but events from other seasons will be a part of the story. They mostly won't be in order. Thanks for reading! Happy New Years!!!

Mmmkaay................you may continue!

Rose's POV:

We have been walking on the snow covered road for about ten minutes now. My combat boots make light impressions on the white powder, following the tire tracks the car made earlier.

Carl had told my friends to use the car and follow the tracks back to the prison with the supplies that we gathered. That was my original plan, only Carl would be in the car with them. But, him being the stupid ass he is, he decided that it was in my best interest to stay with me. I'm pretty pissed at him, for multiple reasons. One, I told him to go back to the prison! But he didn't listen. Two, does he seriously think that he can break my rib one year, then try to be my hero a couple later? No.

For the time that we have been walking, I have kept my bow loaded and put a distance between Carl and I, not making eye contact or conversation. I've also been thinking about things. Maybe, in a couple days, I can go on a run alone and try to look for a safe place for me and my friends can stay. I could clear a place out and lock it up, then take my friends back to it.

My thoughts are interrupted by Carl calling my name. I ignore him. He calls my name once more, but I keep my focus on the tire tracks leading back to the prison. He huffs and lightly wraps his hand around my wrist, signaling me to stop walking. I jerk my arm away and give him a cold, hard glare. I start walking again, but he steps in front of me, blocking my path.

"Rose, we need to talk." he says, his voice wavering.

"About what?" I say whilst attempting to step around him, but he beats me to it.

"You know." he says quietly. And I do know. But an 'I'm sorry' isn't going to do anything anymore. I step around him again and push him to the side when he tries to block me. I start walking at a faster pace, each step having an angry roughness to it.

"Rosie, I- I'm sorry." he says so faintly that I barely hear it. I stop in my tracks and turn back to him. He is looking at me with sorrowful eyes. Anger is surging through every atom of my being.

"Sorry for what, Carl! For leaving me!" I yell as I walk towards him, throwing my hands in the air. "For betraying me! Making my life a living hell! You knew what I was going through yet you still did what you did! And then that one day! I had just gotten out of the hospital when the rest of the world went to shit! Is that what your sorry for?" The anger in my voice doesn't falter one bit.

He doesn't say anything. He just looks down at his feet. So I keep on yelling at him.

"You know, I could just as easily pin you to a tree and watch as walkers make you their next meal! I could have locked you in the pharmacy and left you! I could drag you to a lake and drown you since you can't swim! I could have beaten you the way you did to me when I saw you yesterday! I could have made you feel the pain that I did! But I didn't." My voice fades the slightest at the last sentence.

"Why?" he asks softly, confusion clear in his voice.

"I-I," I take a couple steps back, looking down. "I don't know." I turn around and continue walking to the prison. By now, all the anger has dissolved.

That was a lie. I lied about not knowing. I do know. But, I just don't want to admit it. I don't want to admit something that broke me two years ago. I can't let it break me again. I won't.