BENJI. (a guide to being normal)

Cheers, Benji Dore

Where do I begin now that we’re at the end? I know that throughout my story, I’ve had this mentality that fairytales don’t come true, but I think Copper and Kris knew I still believed in them. I did take a few verbal battles, a few car collisions, and zombies to remind me that I did matter to someone. Kris later told me that she fell in love with me when she saw me on Britain’s Got Talent. I asked her why she never mentioned it, and she said it was because she knew I was probably embarrassed by it, which I was still. Though, it goes to explain why she was so confident in her feelings for me. She said, “You don’t search for something you already have.” And apparently, she knew I was ‘the one.’

Copper and Fiona have finally announced their engagement and are set to be married next spring. I’m quite pleased with them and am excited to see their next wild ride in their relationship. I’m proud of Copper especially. He’s always been there for me, always giving me hope and reminding me life isn’t as awful as it seems. If it hadn’t been for his constant support and guidance through the droughts in my life, I don’t think I would’ve been able to commit myself to anything important. As a side note, Copper made me his best man.

I suppose we can consider this an epilogue, as it is the last entry in my diary. I’m going for a GCSE, a two-year degree that’ll cover all the basic subjects and then I’ll apply for a university and take courses in business management and finances. As for writing, you’re reading the story I’ve published. I had destroyed my zombie guide, much to the dismay of Copper and Kris, but I think this turned out better.

As for Kris and I, I’ve moved to the country where Mum and I had gazed at sheep when I was small lad and Kris moved into my flat. We’re not living together, but we do visit one another often. We mostly see each other at work, where we are excellent partners. I loved working there with her—there’s something special about walking into the office and seeing her Dawn of the Dead mug beside the recent bouquet of flowers I’ve spoiled her with. She always leaves notes on my desk, professing romantic thoughts or what she loves most about me.

But most of all, at the end of the day, we both sit together on the couch and watch The Walking Dead. Though Kris keeps her eyes shut through the entire show, she still faithfully remains in my arms until the last minute. After the most recent episode, Clear, which has become my absolute favourite episode, I turned off the TV and told her she could open her eyes. Kris refused to because the last time I had told her that, I tricked her into seeing a very graphic and gory photo of a mangled body. She never really forgave me after that. So, it was hard to convince her to open eyes.

When she at last caved in, there, between my shaking fingers, was the same box she had placed at my side of the table during Christmas week. I remember her face when she sawr it. Tears had already appeared and her breath was held.

“Can I marry you?” were the very awkwardly arranged words I said. Definitely not how I had thought out the proposal in my head.

“Yes, you can,” she had answered through that beautiful smile that I believe I will always remember if all else withers away. She kissed me and allowed me to slip the ring on her finger.

She was mine. And I was hers.

What is normal? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’m set on a course destined for my good, and that I’ve got a friend who’ll always make me laugh, and lover who’ll be my light when mine ceases to shine. I’ve also got hope in a high place when even human love can’t sustain me. I’m not alone. I never was now that I look back. My family life wasn’t easy, but I’ve been given a chance to start my own with Kris.  She’s slowly giving me the strength to leave the nightmares behind. And I’m finding myself to be quite happy. In fact, I think I am the happiest person in the world.

This was my story, it wasn’t much, but it was a good story.

Cheers,

Benji Dore