BENJI. (a guide to being normal)

Work with Friends They Said, It'll be Fun They Said

A trampoline of darkness threw him in the air. Up he went, floating for a moment, defying the forces of nature. His limbs felt light and the air suspended him before gravity snatched him greedily and threw him down on the ground like an American football. Benji's eyes flew open and he found himself screaming on the floor in the fetal position. He looked up through the swirling darkness and, for a moment, couldn’t make out the looming figure in front of him.

"Oi, it's just me!" Copper's voice echoed.

"What am I doing on the floor? Did I fall out again?" Benji sat up, clutching to his comforter. He looked up at Copper who was kneeling on the bed. "Did you just jump on the bed?"

"Why else do you think you got down there?" Copper slipped off the bed and landed heavily beside Benji. "Good news."

"Don't tell me," Benji groaned. He uncurled his small pink tongue like a cat, squeezed his eyes shut, and let out a squeaky yawn.

"Okay, well, I got you set up to work with me."

"What?"

"At the mailroom, help me sort! Come on, it'll be fantastic to have you around. It's a bloody dull job and our staff could use a man like you!" Copper said in puppy-like enthusiasm. He nudged Benji in the shoulder. "What do you say?"

Benji lost his thoughts in a picture of himself in the mailroom happily sorting letters. He imagined himself whistling to his own tune, clicking his fingers, tapping his heels together, and saluting every costumer who came in with a large, goofy smile smeared across his face. He imagined his co-workers staring at him with their jaws dropped and their eyes half-mast, sorting the rest of the posts as if they were blind; always misplacing the letter in the box the first time. Benji shook his head and stared at Copper. "Nope, don't think they'd like me."

"Who wouldn't? You're lovely."

"And a loser," Benji added with a bitter tone in his voice. He stood up and scratched his outer thigh.

"Don't hold that against me, mate, I didn't mean it. You're not a loser, I swear. Now, come on, come on down with me and apply. We could use another hand anyway."

Benji's shoulders slumped and he kicked a Star Wars action figure from out underneath his foot. "Does it mean that much to you?"

"It means the world! Come on, please. It won't hurt.”

Again, Benji's mind trickled into his futuristic imagination and he saw himself being scolded by his co-workers. Their large mouths cursing at him and throwing paper planes tipped with the sharp end of a paper clip. He envisioned himself being hauled away by two large postmen. He heard his voice shouting over the dramatic bass drum. I'm sorry! I thought it said 'Massachusetts, not Manchester!' Please, don't take me into the cellar! I hate paper cuts, I hate paper cuts, I--

"Benji?"

"Oh, sorry, I wandered. Anyway, I can give it a go."

Copper jerked a victorious fist down to his waist and made a hissing, "yes," through his teeth. "You're going to love it, I'm sure! It's not so bad!"

"What do I wear?"

"You got a suit?"

"You were there at my grandmum's funeral, weren't you?"

"Oh, right, all right." Copper stepped over the collectable dinosaurs that stood two feet off the ground and weaved through the cardboard cutouts of the BBC Doctor Who characters. He reached Benji's closet and attempted to fling it open in an epic manner, but instead, the hinges jammed on an article of clothing and the folding doors refused to open. He turned to Benji and pointed to the doors. "Your hatch won't open."