BENJI. (a guide to being normal)

The Spinning Hourglass

On his return home with a cardboard box under one arm and a plastic bag of his more personal belongings under the other, Benji trudged home like a bloodhound—a bloodhound with its sagging neck and wrinkly eyes dragging itself across the ground. The long ears trailed behind its head, the paws lifted as if each toe had been filled with lead, and the thick tail clung close to the body in a form of failure that could not be forgiven. He had never felt so alone. He knew Copper would be upset to hear he had quit his job, and perhaps even more upset that he had turned down the promotion. But Benji felt that he would not be good enough for the job and that Copper deserved it more. It frightened him that someone wanted to make him more important, and even though that was Benji's ultimate desire in life (to be important to someone), he turned it down in fear that he would not live up to the title.

Benji walked into the flat, tossing his card box and bag beside a pile of mildewing laundry. He looked around the trashed room, wondering where Copper had gone. He assumed Copper must've either been dreaming, or running around the house dressed like a ghost on a broomstick. Why else would the house look like it had been struck by a tornado? Puffing his cheeks out in exhalation, he began slowly picking up the clothes, the rubbish, and the odd objects he thought he had lost a few months back. When he had reached the kitchen, which was a whole new disaster, the front door opened and the familiar sound of Copper toddled in. Peeking his head from the kitchen, Benji hollered, "Copper?"

"Yeah? It's Copper."

Stomping from the kitchen and purposely holding a few more pots and pans and clothes in his hands to appear like a victim, Benji whined, "You left the room a disaster! You expect me to clean it up?"

"What are you doing from work? Your shift's already over?"

"What are you doing out? You promised to clean up!" Benji made a wide sweep of his arms, showcasing the clutter.

"I did!" Copper yelled with a stomp. "I was out with Fiona. I'm moving in with her today."

"What? You can't be serious. I just quit work!"

"What?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Why?" Copper rushed up to Benji and grabbed him by the shoulders. He shook him violently like a limp doll, repeating dramatically, "Why? Why? Why?" with every shake.

"Hang on," Benji said, jumping out of the clamping clutches. "I will explain. They gave me a promotion. But I couldn't take it."

"Why not?" Copper's eyes widened and his chubby mouth parted in disbelief. He tossed his arms in the air and stared at Benji with a more disappointed look than pleased.

"Because, you're my friend.” Reading the dripping disappointment on Copper’s face, Benji added, “Don't look at me like that. I did it for you."

"Well, maybe you should start thinking about you, and stop doing what everyone else wants to do. You agree to bets, you drop jobs, you do whatever your parents tell you to do. You don't rely on yourself, and now you're too scared to make it on your own."

Gnawing on his bottom lip and picking at the edges of his t-shirt, Benji propped himself against the kitchen doorframe and avoided eye contact with his friend.

Copper's chest fell and walked over beside Benji. "I'm sorry.  I’ve just been doing some thinking, and I think we should, you know, make an effort."

"No, you're right. I should do something. I mean, you're moving in with Fiona, you're doing what you want. Why shouldn't I?" But his voice contradicted all forms of enthusiasm, instead he felt hopeless.

"Atta boy, keep thinking like that and you'll be fine." Copper patted Benji on the shoulder and gave him a jolly smile. "Just look into those job agent-people. I'm sure they'll help you."