"I want a double-extra-large pie with green peppers on the top third, and a hard boiled egg covering the bottom-right corner. I'd also like the following in equal ratio around only the center-fifth of the pizza – no more, I have a delicate palette – three anchovies, two sprigs of parsley, boiled ferro, four shakes of nutmeg, and a two dollar bill.
For the rest of the pie I'm not too picky, just throw on some pepperoni, peppercinis, peppermint plant, a pound of pickled, paleo-friendly pebbles, and maybe a few ounces of lemon zest. When you're done with that, dip the the crust in one part baker's yeast, one part cherry cordial, and fill it with as much brie as it will take. I just can't get enough of the stuff. If there is any room left, slather the whole thing in bacon grease, a little ethyl alcohol, and set it on fire. That really helps the ingredients set.
Oh, before I forget, I have this coupon I picked up at the Corner Grocer about five years back, for a free Diet Cola with orders of twelve dollars or more. Are you guys still taking that?"
"..."
"Something wrong, are you still there?"
"Ma'am, we're a shoe store, just like last time, please stop calling here."
"Whatever you say... I'll try back next week."
YOU ARE READING
A Year of Stories (Collection Four)
FantasyThe goal: A new short story, every weekday, for a year. That's about 260 stories, for anyone keeping count. This is Volume 4, covering another fifty stories or so. You can find the other parts of the collection here: 1. https://www.wattpad.com/st...
