Zayn and I

The Breathing Vegetable

Zayn's P.O.V.

I can't move, I don't move from her side. Some lady in the crowd calls the police. I stare down, into the face of the girl I love. I love her more than anything in the entire world, she is my world. She is my happiness. I knew this before, I just didn't know how to say it. I didn't know how to say it until I saw her in front of me, unconcious, bleeding from her head, cuts and scrapes all over her beautiful, delicate body. I reach down to take her hand in mine. I hear some people call my name, but I don't look up. The only person I care about right now is in pain, and I can't help her. 

All that flashes in my mind are images of her. Her smile when she's happy. The way she sleeps. The freckles she has on her neck. Her smile, the way she always smells so good. The way her eyebrow raises when she's questioning something. The way she laughs, her contagious laugh. The way her eyes light up when she's happy, or when she figures something out. How beautiful she looks, even when she cries. How much I love her, and I don't think I could ever be without her.

When the paramedics come, I don't let go of her hand once as they put her onto the gurney. I get into the back of the ambulance with her, and every so often I'll whisper her name, hoping she'll wake up. But, she doesn't. When we get to the hospital, the asshole doctors make me wait in the waiting room, and I feel sick. I shouldn't have let her call the cab, I shouldn't have been so lazy and just walked home. This is all my fault. I rest my head in my hands and start to cry. Everyone in the waiting room is staring at me, and I don't care. I wish to God I could do something to help. I don't even know her families number. But then I remember I have her bag. I reach into the bag and pull out the phone to call her mom. Her mom begins to cry and thanks me, before hanging up. I call Tracey, Paul, Harry, Liam, Niall and Louis. Within an hour, they're all here with me.

"What the hell happened?" Niall asks, handing me a cup of coffee. I don't want it, but I'm grateful for his help, so I take it anyway.

"I don't know, one second she was standing right in front of me, the next, she was 40 feet away in the middle of the road." I say, looking down into the cup of brown. I watch as  the fluorescent lights reflect of off it.

"Jesus Christ." Paul says, leaning against the wall. I know he's pissed at me for not telling him where I was, but I'm grateful he doesn't say anything about it. But, if I told him and he came, we wouldn't have had to call a cab and she wouldn't have

"Stop." Liam says, looking at me.

"What?" I say.

"Stop blaming yourself. You didn't know it would happen." he says. I nod, and look away as he pats my shoulder.

What seems like years later, the doctor that took her from me comes into the waiting room.

"Are you the family of Grace Kendall?" he asks, obviously recognizing us all.

"Yes." Grace's mom, says, walking into the room. The doctor turns to her and starts telling her something, and Grace's mom starts to cry.

"What, what is it?" I say, standing from my seat. The doctor turns to look at her, then looks at me.

"Grace has suffered a traumatic head injury and internal bleeding. We were able to stop the bleeding, but Grace is in a coma." he says.

"For how long?" Tracey says. 

"We don't know, it could be hours, it could be years. We just need her to be comfortable and hope for the best." He says. I kick a chair and walk out of the waiting room.

"Zayn." someone calls after me, but I keep walking. I can't be in there anymore, not knowing, not being able to see her. I keep walking, not knowing where I am, when I arrive at the hospitals nursery.

"Funny how much something can mean to you so quickly." A man next to me says. He looks about thirty, and must be here looking at his kid.

"Yeah." I say, looking in at all the babies. They all have their whole lives in front of them, endless opoortunities for each and every one of them.

"Which one's yours?" he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"None." I say, embarassed. "My girlfriend's in a coma, I just needed a break I guess." He nods and smiles, looking back in at the babies.

"When I first found out I was afraid, afraid I couldn't handle it. Being a father and stuff." He says, shifting on his feet. "I got in a huge fight with my wife, and I left because I just needed a break. I was overwhelmed, this was huge, a baby! We just got married a month before. I wanted to do so much before I even started thinking about kids. All of a sudden I had this big burden on my chest, I should have been more careful, we should have used protection. But then, while I was thinking of all the things I could have done to change what happened, I realized how many times she probably felt that way, like she needed a break from it all, but she couldn't get one. Because, this baby is inside her and whether she liked it or not, she was forced to deal with it. And she did, she sucked it up and she dealt with it. So I sucked it up, went back and stood by her side the whole time. And now, this beautiful daughter of mine is right here, and I already love her more than anything else in the world. I guess, what I'm saying is, standing by someone who needs you, and not leaving because you need a break, will always result in something beautiful and happy, no matter what." 

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I say. I know exactly what he's saying, and he's right. Me leaving is a selfish thing to do, I should be at Grace's side right now, holding her hand, telling her I love her. "Thank you." I say, running back to the girl I love.

 "The doctor said we can go in to see her." Tracey says. Grace's family is gone, they must be in the room with her.

"Okay." I say, following Tracey to the room. Niall, Louis, Liam, Harry, and Paul are all standing in the hallway. I guess Tracey was waiting for me.

"Sorry you had to wait for me." I say.

"It's okay, I knew you'd come back." she says. I walk into the room and see Grace, my Grace, with tubes running into her arms and into her mouth, her eyes shut. Even in a coma, with cuts all over her face, she's still the most beautiful girl I will ever know. 

*     *      *

They cancel the last show, and I spend weeks by her side, every day I come there and visit her. A month after the accident, the doctor pulls me, her dad and her mom into the hallway, leaving Ann and Oscar in the room with Grace.

"There haven't been any responses to any of our tests, and unforunately, it doesn't look like she's going to wake up. I'm so sorry." Mary starts to cry, and Dean holds her. A lump forms in the back of my throat, this can't be true. "This is a form for euthanasia. Please read it carefully before you make any decisions." he says, handing me a form to give to Mary. 

"I can't do this." she says, walking down the hall.

"My beautiful little girl." Dean says, looking in at Grace. He shakes his head and looks down, a tear falling down his face. He hasn't really said much since the accidnet, so I'm a little surprised. I pat my hand on his back offering support. After a few minutes, he gathers himself and calls Ann to go. They leave, and I go into the room to stay with her. I sit down next to her, looking at her, missing her smile, her eyes, her breath against my face.

"I miss you, I miss you so much, Grace." I say, squeezing her hand. "You can't leave us, Grace. You need to wake up. Your sister needs someone to look up to.  Your brother has nightmares every night. Your parents, they'll never get over this. I'll never get over this, I need  you, Grace. You're my everything, and I don't want to live a day without you." I say, hoping she can hear me. But she can't, she doesn't move. Her hand is limp in mine, and all I hear is the sounds of the machines keeping her alive. I'll never have my Grace back.