As soon as I got home Blake announced we were leaving and ran out the door before I could say anything. I’m surprised they went through with it and actually brought me to the mall to go dress shopping. They obviously weren’t happy about it, but it’s either take me or deal with Jackson.
I told them they could go somewhere else and just drop me off, but they both ignored me. Beck glared at the back of my head as I led the way to the store and I feel so guilty that they have to waste their time babysitting me.
“You guys can go somewhere else, I’ll be in here the whole time.” I stated as I stopped in front of the store and peered up at their bored expressions.
“We don’t have a choice, so shut up and get a dress so we can leave.” Blake growled. I frowned down at the ground and nodded my head, walking into the store with them behind me.
It took me a while to pick out some dresses I wanted to try on and Beck and Blake followed me to the dressing rooms, although I don’t think guys are allowed back here. They sat on a bench across from my dressing room and immediately took out their phones, ignoring me completely. I locked myself in and undressed, slipping into the first dress that looked a lot better on the hanger. I rotated in the mirror and decided not to show Beck and Blake because it doesn’t look good on me at all.
The second dress I tried on was a pale peach color that went down to just above my knee. I liked it, despite how unflattering it is on my body and how much bigger it makes my waist looks. The diet I’ve been on hasn’t helped and I actually gained a pound when I weighed myself yesterday. I cried for an hour.
I decided to show Beck and Blake the dress, even though I’m not going to get it. Slowly opening the door, I peeked out to see them still on their phones and I opened the door all the way, stepping out quickly.
“What do you think?” I asked quietly, nervously playing with my fingers. I want Jackson to be here because he’s the only one who would be completely honest with me about how I look.
Beck looked up first and then looked back down at his phone without saying anything. Blake looked up at my face and then down at my dress, his eyes looking glazed over. I was about to tell him that if he was bored, I would be fine with Beck if he wanted to go somewhere else, but he spoke before I could.
“It’s either too small or you’re too fat.” He stated, leaning back and typing something into his phone. I stopped breathing for a second, my chest tightening and then restricting as if my heart stalled. Nodding my head gently in agreement, I shut the door and tried on the next dress.
None of the dresses I picked out were what I was looking for so I went back and grabbed a few more, leaving the boys where they were. In the middle of searching the clearance rack, some girls from my school came in giggling so I took what I had in my hands and went back to the fitting rooms.
Beck continued to ignore me and keep silent, while Blake endlessly shot down all the dresses and lowered my self-esteem.
I slipped into a white dress that faded into a light hue of purple at the bottom. It’s kind of tight around my chest, making it look even bigger than it already is and isn’t too snug around my disgusting waist, somehow making me look thinner. Smiling eccentrically, I smoothed out the slightly puffy dress and then hesitantly opened the door.
“How about this one?” I questioned, hiding my shaking hands behind my back.
Beck looked up and sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s fine, let’s go.”
When I looked over expectantly for Blake’s opinion, he was staring at another girl showing a dress off to her friends. His eyes went up and down, checking her out and soaking up every detail of her thin figure. I swallowed the lump in my throat and watched him check her out again, not taking his eyes off of her for a second.
Clearing my throat to get rid of the lump and get his attention, I plastered a fake smile when he turned to acknowledge me. “What do you think?”
He shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to look down at my dress. “It’s fine. Just pay for it so we can go, I need to eat.”
I went back into the dressing room, putting my clothes back on and grabbing all the dresses I didn’t want in one hand. I don’t have the confidence to send a picture to Jackson since every dress I tried on has given me the same response from the guys.
Why couldn’t they give me a more specific comment? Something that would help me find a dress sooner? Why couldn’t they give me one compliment, even if it wasn’t true?
Swiping a tear from my cheek, I left the fitting room, quickly walking past the girls from my school. I don’t want to hear what they’re saying about me because they started snickering as soon as I walked past and I don’t enjoy being around the girl that had my mate’s attention when it should have been on me.
I paid for the dress with a gift card and my money since I hate spending Jackson’s money. Beck and Blake left before I could catch up to them and I ended up on my own, wandering the mall searching for them. Part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and cry my eyes out because of how cruel they’re being to me. The other part understood and accepted their abuse, truly believing I deserve everything they do to me.
Eventually I figured out that they were probably in the food court since Blake mentioned he was hungry and I found them about to sit down at a table in the back corner. I cautiously sat down across from them, embarrassed that I’ve been looking for them for the last twenty minutes and stared down at the table as I waited for them to finish their food.
They didn’t ask me if I wanted anything and didn’t apologize for abandoning me, which I’m content with. My diet’s been turning out good, even though I gained a pound and I don’t plan on giving up any time soon. I’ve decided that to get the best results I have to have less than five hundred calories a day, which I’ve already had as my lunch.
I quietly watched them shove food down their throats, wondering how they could do that without being disgusted in themselves. Beck caught me staring and I instantly turned away, eyeing a couple laughing across the room. It made me upset to see them so happy together, so I stared down at my lap, imagining the day when Blake wanted to be with me. It probably won’t happen, but a mate’s bond is the strongest connection in the world, I don’t know how he can resist it.
When they finished they just sat in their seats, looking around not really wanting to move. We sat in silence, nobody making a move to get up or leave. It would have been nice if they wanted to talk to me, after all they are two of the three most important men in my life.
Sighing to myself since neither of them want me here, I took out a water bottle from my purse and forced myself to chug half of it. I felt like puking after I guzzled the water, but I looked on the internet last night and it’s supposed to make you less hungry and it has zero calories.
“That’s your dinner?” Beck asked mockingly, staring at the half-filled water bottle I rested my chin on. I shrugged my shoulders because he’s obviously trying to upset me and imply that my diet is much needed.
Blake suddenly stood up and grabbed the tray of garbage, walking over to a trash can and throwing it out. I watched him walk back, noticing his calm exterior, even though he had a scowl on his face. He’s such a beautiful guy, I’ll never understand why he refuses to smile and laugh.
I turned back to Beck, who was already watching me and stood up, meeting Blake halfway and heading towards the exit. Frowning in frustration, I stood up and grabbed my bags, attempting to catch up to them. When I got to the parking space, I almost cried when I didn’t see Blake’s car there. Is it so hard to give me a ride home?
I sullenly turned around to start my ridiculously long walk home in the blistering heat with no energy.
YOU ARE READING
She Paints Pain
Werewolf(Trigger Warning) (In editing) Rain's been through hell her whole life. Between her abusive dad, her brother who blames her for everything and the bullies at school, she has it hard. But when things start to settle down and Rain discovers her long l...
