Devil With Angel Wings

11

ALYSSA

     My first kiss.

It starts off sweet first, our lips greeting each other.

He brushes his lips on mine again, and presses harder and I can trace the shape of his lips with my mouth.

My lips parted with a sigh and he takes that chance to deepen our kiss, his tongue tentatively touches mine.

My skin burns with a fever as he pulls me closer to him, and I can feel the heat of his body.

His hands roams the curve of my hips as his mouth continues to devour me.

I forget about the spectators around us and focus on his touch on mine. His skin, burns on my skin.

This devil, this damn devil, somehow manages to get under my skin and turn my entire world upside down.

I sink my hands into his soft hair, and I pull him closer. I can’t get enough of him.

Mark gives that deep-throaty laugh. “No wonder Prince Charming cease to see other women when Cinderella arrives. Because she outshines everyone else with her presence alone.”

“Prince Charming is a very lucky man then, to have such a woman by his side.”

“Cinderella is lucky too. She had nothing until the prince took her hand and gave her everything.”

“You know, Cinderella has never looked for Prince Charming. She just wants to get away from her life for a little while.”

“What are you saying?” Mark asks me.

“The prince is looking for his princess, but Cinderella just wants to live freely. The fact that she ended up giving her heart to the prince, is the greatest gift the prince can ever received.”

“When you put it that way… it’s possible.”

“Of course. I’m a woman. All your arguments are invalid.”

Mark chuckles slightly and my heart skips a beat. My body is ignited with sparks of electricity coursing through me.

Seeing him looking happier makes my heart sigh in contentment.

“Are you studying law?” I ask him.

“Hm?”

“I saw textbooks in your room the other day. I’m guessing you’re studying to be a lawyer?”

“I received my law degree a year ago,  yes.”

“So… you’re a lawyer now?” I ask more confused now. Shouldn’t he be working or something?

Mark’s face darkens as if clouded by painful memories. His hold on my waist tightens and I wince slightly.

“There was this woman. She was my life. I didn’t want her to live in this cold place like a caged bird, so I worked hard to escape and give her the life she’d deserve. So I studied to become a lawyer. But life has never shown happiness. She left and I went back into this house alone with no one to accompany me but dust and empty rooms. No point being a lawyer now that I lost the reason to get away from this place.”

I reach out and gently touch his cheek.

“Is that why you’re angry most of the time? The reason why you’re so self-destructive?”

“Anger has always been a part of me. I… hate this wretched life. I thought she could save me.”

“So she wasn’t able to save you?”

“If she had save me, would I be here talking to you?” Mark says bitterly.

“Did you show her? All these… violence inside you. Did you ever show her your darkness?”

“Of course not. I didn’t want her to see this…fucked up being. She wouldn’t want my full package.”

“But how can you expect her to save you when you hid that important part about you from her? How can she save you when she couldn’t see your broken pieces? All this time, you’ve been showing her a side of you that doesn’t exist!”

Why can’t he see it, that he changed for her and pretended to be good, when his darkness was buried deep inside him? How can love flourish on the foundation of lies?

Mark breaks away from me, his expression angry.

“Shut up. You know nothing about me,” he says angrily.

“No I don’t but from what I learnt so far, you’re bad. You like to fight and you’re a pain in the ass most of the time. You see people like they’re your enemies and you have anger inside you that makes you want to hurt people around you. And you probably like it too because it makes you powerful.”

I take a couple steps closer to him.

“But you’re also good,” I say more gently now. “You care and when you love someone, you give your entire heart to her. You hate to see injustice. You’re strong and you can be gentle.”

I place my palm on his chest.

“This is you. The good, the bad, you’re both. The fact that you only showed her your good side means you lied to her about you. How could she love you when the guy she dated doesn’t even exist? Even if both of you are married, it may not last since it’s a relationship built on lies. She only knew the mask you put on for her.”

Mark grips my arm hard, his fingers dig into my skin that it hurts. He brings his face close to me until we’re an inch away.

“You’re a bitch, you know that? You think you can just walk into my life and try to psychoanalyse me like some damn shrink? You are nothing to me. You don’t get to tell me how I think.”

“You don’t love her. Not really,” I whisper. “If you love someone, you’d change for the better, but not completely change into someone you’re not.”

“Fuck you.” Mark pushes me and I stumble back. I look up to see he is entering the mansion, leaving me alone. I miss his warmth immediately.

I know it wasn’t my place to say that to him. He’s merely my employer and tormentor. But I can’t stand seeing him drowning in his own sorrow because of his broken love.

And in a morbid way, I’m glad she left him.

Because Mark wouldn’t save me otherwise.