Say yes

"What about this one. He's cute." I asked Shane and Maggie.

"Seriously Gia? Are you trying to die? He looks mad scary." Shane shook his head as I showed him the picture of one of the men from the BDSM website I was using. 

"You know I'm not." I closed my laptop and stretched out on my bed. "I'm not having any luck."

"Well looking for a Dom online, is probably not the best way to go. Especially for a beginner. You haven't even experienced any part of that lifestyle." Maggie said.

"Shane, you dabble a little in it. Help me out here." I said as I hit Shane with a pillow.

"First of all slut, you just messed up my hair. Second I will do my best to help you if you tell me why the interest in being a submissive."

I sat there a thought for a minute.

"There has always been a part of me that's been submissive. I seem to always go for the alpha males. Dominant and always in control with such confidence outside of the bedroom. It's inside the bedroom when we are between the sheets is the problem." I began to explain.

"Ok. Humor me. Elaborate just a little." Shane said as he sipped his wine.

"The sex wasn't enough. Don't get me wrong, there were times it was really good. But that's it. Just good." I let out a sigh.

"So I'm confused at this point. What is wrong with good sex. What is it that you are wanting?" Maggie asked.

"I want a man who is in control all the time. Not only in business... but with me as well."

"So you want to be a sex slave?" Shane laughed.

"No ass. I want a man to take care of me. To provide my every need. To cherish me as if I am the rarest jewel. I want him to know me, mind-body, and soul. I want him to know and anticipate my every need and desire. I want him to be the man and me, woman. I want him to own my heart as I will own his. Is there anything wrong with that?" Shane reached out and touched my hand.

"No sweetie. There is nothing wrong with that. I'm just concerned that you do not know what you are getting yourself into. This is no fifty shades bullshit. This isn't some kind of love story made around characters who play big bad Dom and the good little Submissive."

"I know. I at least want to get my feet wet before I decide if I want to continue this pursuit or not." I reassured Shane.

"Fine," Shane sighed. "Just be careful. Make sure you weed out the crazies before you go down this road."

"I will. So what do you guys have planned for tonight?" I asked as I closed my laptop.

"I am staying in tonight," Maggie said.

"I'm staying in tonight too. I worked hard today." Shane said with a yawn.

"We all did. Dr. Collins saw so many patients today. Thanks, Maggie for booking so many appointments." I said with sarcasm.

"You're welcome," Maggie said with a smile.

"What about you? Any plans for tonight?" Shane asked.

"Not tonight. Watching some T.v. and pigging out."

"Sleep sounds so good right now. Thank God we all live a few buildings from each other. I'm going to head home. Don't forget that we're going to Illumination tomorrow night." Shane and Maggie left.

I laid down on my bed thinking about what Shane had said. Am I just wanting rough sex? No. I have had rough sex before, but that's all it was. I want more. I just need to find someone who could give me that. I opened up my laptop and created my profile on the website we were looking at. It was worth a shot.