Heliophilia (camren)

Chapter 28

Chapter 28:
I woke up the next day with an ache in my chest, knowing today would be harder than the days I've put behind we were. Today was my last day with Sam for I don't know how long; since Maria was planing the trip I didn't know how long I'd be gone. I stretched out my arms over my head as I watched the light pour in from the window, and I wondered if she was happy, wherever she was. I knew people taught and preached about an afterlife, heaven and hell dividing us in accordance to sins and purity of the soul and whatever else the certain religion taught. I knew myself that life was too short to end after death, that something must happen to you after you die. And I also knew if anything, Lauren deserved the best, wherever she was. She deserved happiness, she deserved a better life than the one she had here. So I was only lead to believe she was getting the best now, for my sanity more than anything. I crawled up out of the bed and dragged myself to the shower, turning on the water and stepping under after I shed my clothes. Showers usually were a time I'd find relaxing, but ultimately they lead me to fall into my inner thoughts too much, so I quickly rinsed my hair and washed my body before slipping out and wrapping my small body in a fluffy towel. Half an hour later I was dressed and my hair was dry, and the content of my closest was strewn out over my bed and floor. "Mila do you mind if we have pasta for din-" Sam starts but stop when we sees the mess. "Woah.." He says as his eyes find mine. "You're really leaving, huh?" He says sadly after a moment of silence. I see through the smile he's wearing his eyes start to water and my mouth flies open. "Sam, are you crying?!" I ask in disbelief as I hear a sniffle from him. I quickly run to him and wrap arms around his waist and his circle my back as I rub his spine soothingly. "I just know you'll be very happy where you're going, you'll find happiness" he mumbles into my hair and I pull back to look into his eyes. "You know where I'm going?" I ask and he nods. "Of course! I wouldn't let someone just whisk you away if I didn't know your whereabouts" he chuckles. "How long will I be gone?" I ask as I play with the buttons if his shirt. "For as long as you need kiddo, you can come back tomorrow if that's what you want..but at least try enjoy this, yeah? It'll be good for you" he smiles down at me and I stand up on my tippy toes and kiss his cheek. "Seriously Sam, thank you for being here for me" I say honestly and he smiles at me with bloodshot eyes. "You helped me a lot more than you'll ever know littler, so I guess we're even" he chuckles and a giggle back. "Anyway.." He trails off looking around the room. "It's only 4 now, how about I help you pack then we can take care of dinner? And then you're taking a nap; I don't want you asleep on this train alone" he says seriously and I pinch his cheeks. "Is little sammy getting protective?" I coo out and he frowns. "You're the best mother I could ever wish for" I smile up at his adoringly before poking his stomach and running over to the bed. "Now help me pick clothes!" I say and he grumbles. We finish a lot later than we think, as the clock strikes 8 and I was finished packing but we still hadn't done anything for dinner, so we just ordered in instead. "You nervous?" He asks, forking a mountain of noodles into his mouth as he leans over the take out box. "For the trip?" I ask and he nods. "Well yeah, I suppose...I mean, ill be alone a lot, which seems nice but also a little scary. I'm scared that ill get too lonely. But I know she'll be with me, in my head...and I'm excited to see and explore wherever I'm going" I say truthfully and he nods. "You better ring me every night" he says with a warning tone to which I smile. "Of course mother" I say happily and pick at my food. Once we finished he actually made me take a nap, to which I was extremely grateful since it was one of the best naps I'd ever had. I got up and noticed the time was 12.30 and we had to leave soon if we wanted to get to the train station soon. I tied my hair up and slipped on one of Sams grey hoodies and jeans before making my way out to the living room to find him on the phone to Normani. "Yeah babe, ill come over after I drop Mila to the station...Of course, ill see you then" he smiles "love you too" he finishes before hanging up, keeping the smile plastered onto his face. "You're smitten, look at you!" I squeal as the blush creeps onto his cheeks. "Or maybe the correct term would be whipped.." I say and he scowls. "Am not" he grumbles and I giggle. "You should have here stay here, at least while I'm gone" I say with a smile so he knows I'm completely serious about the proposition. "Really? That'd actually be brilliant; she got back from a photoshoot thing in Australia and her sleeping is all messed up, it'd mean I won't have to get the bus at four in the morning just to cuddle" he says and I giggle. "Knock yourselves out..just no sex in my my bed or ill murder you" I say seriously and he bursts into a fit of laughter. "Ill defiantly try to avoid it kiddo" he chuckles out. We finally get everything sorted and call a taxi. He holds my hand the whole journey and I hold it back, knowing that these last minutes will mean the most when I miss him later on. After the long car journey we finally arrive at the train station as the blanket of night envelopes us and a cold air fills my chest. Sam carries my bags with one hand and I hold his other in both of mine as we swim through the thin crowd of people looking for Maria. "Do you have everything? Are you going to get hungry on the train? I looked it up and they've got a restaurant, here's some money for that" he pulls out some cash from his pocket and gives it to me. "Maria said she'd have money for you but I just want to be certain...make sure you get your own compartment, don't talk to anyone you're not certain about. It's okay to ask for help and if you get lonely just ring me, yeah?" He rushes out as I pull him into a bone crushing hug. "I love you Sammy" I say into his chest and he stokes my hair. "I love you too littler" he responds and we stay locked in each others arms until I feel a tap on my shoulder. "Hi guys" Maria says shyly and I smile at her. "Ready to go?" She beams at me, obviously more excited than I was. "Hmm mm" I say and squeeze Sam one last time before pulling back and kissing his cheek. "Ill see you real soon" I say and he smiles back down at me. "Where is she going first?" He asks and I turn my attention to Maria. "Well I've got this journal full of the route she's taking...Lauren actually made it" she says quietly and I'm left swimming in a familiar ache at the mention of her name, but also a huge gulf of curiosity over where this trip will lead me. "You can read it on the train" she says with a smile and hands me a wore leather journal, filled with extra pages as a rubber band wrapped around it, keeping all the pieces together. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot" Sam says as he reaches into my hang luggage and pulling out a box to hand to me. "I got you this.." He trails off holding it out for me to take to which I expect. It was a Polaroid camera with film. I beamed up at him and gave him a quick hug before squealing. "Thank you Sammy" I say happily. "Take some pictures for me, yeah?" He asks and I smile. "Of course" I beam. "Okay, we have a train to get you on" Maria says and I nod. "Bye Sammy" I say. "Bye kiddo" he replies as I walk away and I smile, he really was the best. "So, you excited?" Maria asks for beside me and I smile. "I actually am" I say back as she carries my bag for me. "So, you get on this train and travel to New York, where you get on a plane" she says as we come to a stop at my platform. "A plane?" I ask in disbelief, I'd never been on one before. "Hmm mm, don't worry, everything's planed in the journal; you'll have a brilliant time." She beams at me as the train whistles fill our ears. "She'll be with you every step of the way" she says looking me in the eye and I can't help but belief her. She hands me my bag and gives my a smile before leading me over to a train conductor. "Hello, this is Camila and she's got the first class cabin, do you think you could show her to it?" Maria asks the scrawny boy who couldn't be older than 16. "Eh, yeah sure..just let me.." He stuttered, taking the bag from her hand and shooting me a bracey grimace of a smile, to which I smiled back. "Here's my number, ring me whenever" Maria says, handing me a piece of paper before pulling me in for a hug. "It'll all work out, I promise" she says into my shoulder and I melt into her warm embrace. "Thank you for everything Maria" I say with a smile which she returns. "Now get on your train before it leaves" she chuckles and I comply. "Bye!" I tell from the small steps up and she waves back. I turn and follow the gangly boy through the different carts and different people until we reach a compartment that was nicer than the apartment at home. It was cosy and cute, and as I stepped in a knew I loved it already. "Thank you" I say with a smile as he puts my bags on the overhead storage. "It's nothing" he says with a squeaky voice and I have to stifle a giggle. He goes to move around me to exit the cabin but stops abruptly. "Hey..I know this is sudden and all" he starts off, obviously struggling with whatever he's trying to get out. "...but I was wondering if I could have your number?" He squeaks and I bite my lip trying to not laugh. I open my mouth to reply but someone behind me beats me to it. "She's actually already taken"