Heliophilia (camren)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21:
"Honey I'm home!" Sam shouts sarcastically and I roll my eyes.
"Is it safe to come in? Are you two naked?" I asks from behind me and I turn on the sofa to see him standing at the doorway with his hands over his eyes.
"She's not here and I don't watch TV naked" I answer quietly as my mind wonders to her for the millionth time tonight.
"Where'd she go? Bathroom? Bedroom to get ready for you long night of passionate make up sex?" He asks and plops down beside me and steals the bar of chocolate from my lap I was nibbling on, but I couldn't care less.
"She left about an hour ago" I reply and he turns to me.
"Well at least tell me your engaged or something" he says with a scoff and I sigh.
"Sam, we're friends now" I say and get up.
"Im going to go to bed, ill see you tomorrow" I say and kiss his forehead.
"Thank you for caring, but stop being the pushy mother I never had" I say with a smile and he rolls his eyes.
"Normani says hello!" He yells as I walk away.
"Don't even say her name" I growl and close the door of the bedroom, stress overflowing my senses. I just wanted to sleep; I wanted a lot of things but sleep was the top priority.
I climbed into bed after I changed and flicked off the light, leaving me in darkness apart from the moonlight streaming through the linen curtains. I held my hand up so the moonlight danced over my hand and I imagined it as her gliding over my skin, and I wondered was she lying in bed thinking about me the way I was thinking about her. I wondered was she really okay with the 'friends' proposition I insisted on. Some part of me wanted to her disagree, I wanted to evoke a intense reaction from her so I knew what she feels for me is an mind eating as I feel...felt.
But she didnt, she kept her cool as she always does, never raising her voice and being stubbornly passive.
I let out a sigh at the thought of her webbing a sheet of confusion over my mind and I decided I wouldn't over think. Sure, maybe I still felt something for her, I mean love doesn't just disappear in a click of your finger. But I also knew I didn't trust her, our past was clouded and I needed something stable, conventional and rather boring. Lauren wasnt boring. Cuddling Lauren raises your heartbeat and blood pressure to the height of a Olympic swimmer; she was fast and blinding and I didn't need that. I wanted to slowly date and go through the motions, I wanted to be normal.
I rolled over, trying to shut down my mind as my thoughts clogged my brain and scooped up the extra pillow into my arms and pulling it as close as possible. I nussled my nose into it and noticed it didn't smell like her at all as I closed my eyes knowing this was the last time I could ever thing of her in such a delicate way. She was a friend. "I need to keep myself protected" I repeated until I fell into a fitful sleep.
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"Good morning" I hear husked from behind me as I lock the door to the apartment.
"Hello you" I say with a smile as i turn around and I take in her lazy appearance consisting of sweatpants and a hoodie with her hair up messily and a mug cradled in her hands as she leads against her door frame. She had no socks on and her pink nails peaked out from under the baggy tracksuit bottoms and I couldn't help but feel my heart breaking at just how beautiful she was like this, how with no make up on her, eyes still sparkle and her smile seems a lot more genuine; she almost looks vulnerable but most of all adorable.
"I was wondering if I could pick you up from work?" She asked, bringing the mug to her lips and taking a sip. I mulled over it in my mind and let out a sigh.
"Sams going out with Normani and he told me if I don't he'll leave me a stink bomb in my apartment via letterbox" she continues and I giggle.
"Sounds like Sam" I say half heartedly, my mind too focused on how deep I really am into this whole "leading her on" business.
"As friends; ill pick you up as a friend picking a friend up" she says slowly but I can see her eyes tell a completely different story.
"Okay" I say finally with a smile, knowing I didn't really have a choice.
"Good" she says and smiles softly at me making butterflies erupt in my stomach.
"See you later" I say just above a whisper as her eyes never leave me, burning a hole into my back as I walk with pep down the hall biting my lip.
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"Sei molto gentile! Come back again sí?" Paolo says to the final customers leaving and I smile hanging up my apron as Grace sits on the counter beside me.
"Got plans tonight princess?" She asks as she plays with a strand of my hair and I try to hind my blush.
"Not really" I say and she lifts my chin up so my eyes stare into her brown ones.
"Would you mind if I took you out to dinner?" She asks sweetly and I bite my lip.
"I'd really like that" I say softly and I see the smirk grow on her face.
"Perfect; give me your phone ciccino" she says, her accent showing as she rolls her Italian off her tongue.
"She punches in her number quickly and texts herself so she has mine and hands the phone back to me with a smile.
We make our way out the door onto the street and I turn to face her.
"Ill see you tonight" she whispers as she takes my hand in hers before bringing it up to her lips and kissing it softly before smirking up at me.
"Uh" I hear mumbled from behind me and I turn to see a shocked looking Lauren bundled up in a scarf and a rose in her hand.
"Em-grace, this is my-"
"Friend, as social labels go...but I'm very much in love with her, and that's all you need to know" Lauren finishes for me with a cold stare that would crack a rock and I feel the tension build up.
"Oca, I see you've made interesting friends bambino" she chuckles out and looks at me.
"Ill see you tonight eh?" She says with a smile I return.
"And to your friend, Vaffanculo" she says to Lauren with a cheeky smile and with that she turns and starts to walk away.
I can't even look Lauren in the eye as I turn to face her. We start to walk in silence and I can't almost feel the tension radiating off her.
"Who was that?" She asks finally.
"Grace" I answer simply.
"And you're trusting that with your heart and not me? Just because she's shiny new and got an accent?" She asks lightly but I can hear the strain in her voice.
"She's not good enough for you" she says finally when I don't trust my voice to reply.
"She's nice" I say quietly.
"She's not me, that's why you're doing this" she says back and I roll my eyes, getting frustrated.
"Not everything about you Lauren; I'm moving on" I say strongly as we walk down the almost empty street.
"You're mine, wether you realise it now or later" she huffs from beside me and I stop walking.
"fuck you!" I yell at her and she doesn't even flinch back.
"Just leave me alone, this was obviously a mistake" I say as I walk ahead of her, just wanting to get home and away from her.
"I didn't mean to upset you" she says from behind me after minutes filled with silence.
"I just want you to be happy" she says and I sigh.
"Friends don't get jealous, friends let there friends go out with whoever they want" I say warningly.
"I know, I'm sorry. Ill control myself next time" she says softly looking at the ground twirling the stem of the rose with her fingers.
She shyly hands it to me and I take it from her, running my fingertips over the soft petals.
"Are you happy?" She asks as we both stand outside out apartment doors in silence.
"Im getting there" I say with fake enthusiasm and a similar smile.
"I just don't understand; you could be happy with me" she mumbles and I sigh.
"You blew your chance laur" I say sadly and she looks up with sad eyes.
"She's not going to treat you right" she whispers and I have to avert my gaze from her.
"Ill see you later" I say and turn and start to unlock my door.
"Love you beautiful" she says to my back and slips into her apartment as my forehead leads on my door.
"Love you too laur" I whisper to myself and blink back tears as I let myself in through the door to get ready for tonight.