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(The gif is a good indication of what you are about to get! Enjoy! xx)

(The gif is a good indication of what you are about to get! Enjoy! xx)

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LIFE WAS ALWAYS EITHER-OR

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LIFE WAS ALWAYS EITHER-OR.

It was something that I had come to terms with recently. Whatever situation it usually had an either-or aspect to it.

Either you got the part or the other person did.

Either you won or somebody else did.

Either you got the guy or somebody else did.

It seemed that it was the always the or when it came to Diego and I.

Either I got Diego or one of his many admirers did.

For a long time it was Lara, although yesterday it was the girl whom I still didn't know the name of. And I had a feeling that her name wouldn't be something that Diego and I would be able to talk about without it getting awkward. How do I even tell him that I do feel slightly jealous?

Oh you know recently I've found myself getting jealous every single time you even glance at a girl. But you know, I'm not in love with you or anything.

I shudder at the thought. Falling in love with Diego was something that I told myself was out of the question the night I met him. His personality was evident. He reeked of arrogance and anybody could tell. I just wish he didn't wear it so well.

Even talking about it with Francesca and Leon was difficult. I tried explaining to them that I did in fact feel attracted to him and of course I wouldn't mind kissing him pretty much any moment I had—but on the other hand I was somebody who dreamt of getting swept off their feet.

But in a romantic totally-falling-for-you kind of way, not swept off my feet and you're dragging me to the bedroom in a I'm-going-to-sleep-with-you-and-it-will-mean-nothing kind of way.

Ever since the word married clicked into my mind I realised that I didn't really want a relationship where we didn't care about each other. And my desire for something real surpassed my desire for Diego.

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