Paper Flowers (Pretty Plastic People) ★

034. The Biggest Mistake

"I didn't feel like going out," I say, even as I feel my cheeks flaming up.

"Hm."  He studies me for a few seconds, one eyebrow raised quizzically, before declaring, "There's something you're not telling me."

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is.  You're not looking me in the eye and your cheeks are sort of red. And you're hiding a stupid grin.  Wait.  You're in love."

"Yeah, surprise."  I yank the physics textbook closer to me and pretend to scan our problem set, wondering when Liam became so intuitive.  "I'm dating Spencer.  Let's hope I'm in love."

Little does he know.

Liam seems satisfied with this explanation for all of two seconds before he presses, "But Spencer was at dinner with me last night.  And you started acting all weird when I asked you about last night."  Another pause.  "You're not cheating on him, are you?"

I've reached a dead end.  Liam knows me too well for me to deny this anymore.  And yet it seems dangerous, to confess to one other person when I don't know who's truly on my side.  I want to trust Liam—he's never given me any reason not to—but I have no way of knowing anything anymore.

"Erika?"  Liam's voice wobbles a little at the end.

"No, I'm not cheating."  Frustrated, I tug at the ends of my hair and say, all in one rush, "Spencer and I broke up a while ago.  I—I found out he lied to me about last summer."

"What do you mean?"

Now I'm picking at the "used" sticker on my textbook, desperate to keep my attention anywhere except on the conversation I'm having.  "He knew about Taylor and Allison.  And he lied to me about it.  He made me seem like the bad guy for being mad at him, when he was guilty all along."

"That sucks," Liam says, exhaling so slowly there's a small whistle.  "I didn't know that.  Wow."

"Yeah."  I shrug.  "So we broke up.  Or I broke up with him.  I still don't know how he feels about the whole thing."

"And now there's someone new?"

"Yeah."  I can tell he's waiting for details but I don't plan on offering any, and to fill the silence I say vehemently, "You can't tell anyone, okay?  Nobody knows Spencer and I broke up.  Please just keep this between us."

He nods, but I can tell he doesn't fully understand because his eyebrows are smashed together, the way they do when he watches me work a physics problem over and over again.  "Okay.  But I don't get why it's some big secret."

"It just is.  I'm sorry."

"Don't be."  He pats my knee, his enormous hand almost the size of my thigh.  "I'm sorry this happened to you."

As he turns back to our first physics problem, I feel like a tiny weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Granted, I didn't tell Liam the full story, but it feels good to confide in someone—even if it's just a little.  Keeping my breakup with Spencer and my relationship with Taylor a secret has been draining me, and as long as I can trust Liam not to tell, I know I'll feel good about telling someone.

Then I remember the reason why Spencer and I broke up, and my spirits fall all over again.  There's someone out there who's determined to ruin me, and I still don't know who.  Soon, desperate times will call for desperate measures, because I know my three weeks are running out.

I start thinking about anything I could do to solve the issue.  The only thing I can think of other than figuring out who the blackmailer is myself is to try to minimize my friends' secrets.  If we all come clean, then the blackmailer has nothing on us and we're free.  But some of the secrets—even just the ones I've discovered so far—seem too important to announce just like that.  After all, that's part of the reason why my blackmailer is so powerful.