Stories Undone, Scars Unseen // Hamilton College AU

Aaron (28)

Eliza lets out a loud sigh, leaning her head tiredly on Maria's shoulder.

While I'd hate to complain, I know that I'm about to. Why shouldn't Washington do this? He is supposed to be the adult here. I paid for this class with my own money. Their arguments really affect the learning process.

He's just talking to Angelica about something. That's really helpful. Thanks, Washington.

Just like that, class is over. And I have learned absolutely nothing. I guess Jenna doesn't need my notes anymore. Isn't it just amazing how I used my new pen, wasted its ink, and it was all for nothing?

Today isn't going to look up, is it?

Right once I think that, someone trips into me and sends me flying to the ground.

Eliza claps her hands around her mouth. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" She reaches her hand out to help me up.

I immediately jerk away, grabbing my stuff. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Her eyebrows crease. "Can I help you take your stuff back to your dorm?"

"I said I've got it," I mutter darkly, stuffing it in my bag, before helping myself to my feet.

"O-okay. Lemme know if you... want anything?"

"I don't, thanks." I roll my eyes the moment her back is turned. She is just making my day get better and better. Typically, Eliza is fine... But she chose a really bad day to run into me.

And Alex is eyeing me up now, in a way that suggests he'll fight me. Oh. Probably for 'mistreating' his lady while John stands behind him, looking uncomfortable, or maybe just tired. Great.

Alex drags John in front of me as well. "What's your deal today, Burr?"

Burr now? We aren't friendly enough to be on first name basis?

"Nothing, Alexander," I sigh. "Just stand down for once in your life."

"No, thank you!" he snaps back.

I turn to walk away, but he grabs my arm tightly, refusing to relinquish his grip. "I was talking to you! You can't just treat Eliza like that!"

"She had just knocked me over, Alexander." I'm trying my very hardest to still sound patient despite the fact I'm fed up beyond belief at this point. "Maybe you and John should head back to your dorm."

John puts a hand on his shoulder. "Please."

"Why? Aaron made Eliza feel bad for no reason," Alex stresses, glancing back at his friend.

John takes a slow breath. "Some people have... days, Alexander."

And great. Somehow, despite the fact John is on my side, I feel like I didn't want to hear this point of view. To know it's obvious I'm having a 'day', whatever that means. Clearly, John has days... Much more often than the rest of us.

"But it doesn't give him the excuse to be rude," Alex argues back.

Behold, the one thing Alex excels at. Arguing.

"I can't do this right now," he mumbles, walking away.

That shuts Alex up.

I clear my throat. "If I were you, I'd stick with my roommate."

"Aw, thanks, Burr," he sarcastically replies before marching off to do just that.

I don't know why my feet led me here. But now, I'm trying to shrink into the wall, watching Charles Lee and Samuel Seabury kiss up to Professor George. What a great internship already.

He clears his throat. Flamboyantly, he hits the chalkboard. "It's a fairly simple job, my subjects. You simply have to write a few paragraphs on the school's blog every once and awhile... Check in with me every couple of days..."

Alex is going to kill me if I accept this job. I'm taking writing from him.

"Yes Professor George!" Seabury exclaims, saluting.

See, I think bowing would be more appropriate, if we're doing ridiculous gestures. Saluting, I figure, is more of a Professor Washington thing.

The professor grins, glancing at me and Lee. "You two?"

I say nothing, still on my mission of sinking into the wall.

"I would love to," Lee says dramatically.

Sweet Jesus, everyone here is nuts.

Professor George focuses his eyes on me. "So, that only leaves you, Aaron Burr. I really do think you would really complete the team of these two but... I can always find a replacement."

I... Is that an insult in a vague way? Do I really want to be the completing factor of those two? In a weird way, though, I think that's all I'm destined for. James and Thomas are a duo, a duo I could never hope to worm my way into. I was Alex's 'first friend', who he abandoned immediately for Hercules, Lafayette, and John. I have Jenna, but only after J. Brown. Sure, I dated Jenna too, but it made me feel almost dirty... How willingly I was to steal from another just because my heart wills me to do one thing. I'm not the one who gets things.

But I got this. This one thing was mine from the start.

Swallowing whatever doubt I have about this, I force pride to bubble up. "Thank you, sir, for this opportunity."

He beams brightly at all three of us before going into more details. Emails and requirements. Duties and meetings. And, most of all, anonymously.

Slowly, I creep into the room. I don't know if Jenna is taking a nap due to sickness or not.

She looks up, and smiles happily. "Aaron!" She squeals nasally.

"Jenna," I reply, not nearly as excitedly, but still beaming.

She shifts to try and move out from under her blanket mountain. "I still can't believe I stayed here today, I feel fiiiiiineeee."

"Are you sure? You still sound a little sick." I sit on the end of her bed, knowing that she usually gets upset if I get too close. She doesn't want to get me sick... But I'd risk it for her.

"Aaron," she whines. She lightly pushes me, trying to get me out of 'sick' range.

I laugh and reach over, ruffling her locks. "It's fine, Jenna. I won't get sick. I haven't yet."

"That doesn't mean anything!" She snuffles and coughs.

I sigh a little. "I think you're still sick, by the way."

A pout pulls on her bottom lip. "I know, but I was hoping if maybe I pretended I wasn't, it would go away."

"Aw... Do you need me to go pick up medicine or anything? And, my class notes are in my bag if you want to rummage through and find them."

I toss it onto my bed. She ignores it though.

"Can you just... stay here with me? We can watch a show or something?"

Smiling gently, I nod and grab the remote. "Anything for you, Jenna."

After a while, Jenna tires herself out, and I gently scoot her onto her pillow. Then, I carefully pick my way to the bathroom.

The moment I'm within, I slump against the door and sigh. The full-length mirror reflects back at me, showing exactly what I am. Completely tired and worn out, all my seams coming out.

A tear threatens its way down my cheek, but I force it away. I won't cry. I don't care what happens, but I won't cry anymore. I'm done crying... All life does is push hardships and tragedies my way, and I'm sick of reacting to them.

All I feel is numb now. And numbness is better than feeling.