The Consequences {Jacob Black}

Chapter XLIV

"You don't know anything about me," she growled.

"You've got to be the stupidest person I've ever met. I came here because I needed a place to yell, a place to scream. You're not the only one who feels pain." I landed a fist into her cheek, ignoring the pain in my hand and knowing I wouldn't hurt her. "Being bitter is only worth for a little while," I added.

She landed a fist in my stomach that sent me flying. Best not to tell Jake about that. She stood over me, her eyes angry.

"Do you feel better yet?" I asked breathlessly, shoving myself to my feet. I had taken worse hits before. "Because I'm sure hitting someone made everything feel better right? The pain is gone, huh? You've forgotten that Sam is with Emily? That your dad died?" She just glared down at me. "Get your ass out of the ring and follow me."

She did as I said, still fuming behind me. I took her to the farthest bag on the wall where we could say whatever we wanted.

"You can't just sit here and be bitter, Leah. You've given him so much power over you, so much control."

"Sam doesn't control me!" she growled, punching the bag hard enough to make the entire thing ripple.

"Like hell he doesn't! You changed everything about yourself because he left you. You ended your relationship with the only other person you actually cared about because of him. You won't be yourself around him because you're afraid he'll realize that he has so much control over you. But it's all good, Leah; keep up the bitterness. I mean, it's made you happy this far, right?"

She punched the bag again and again, the rhythmic thumping becoming a soundtrack. I joined her, beating my bag as hard as I could. After what felt like hours, she stopped and stumbled down onto the matted floor.

"How'd you find this place?" she asked breathlessly.

"After Sarah died, I couldn't dance again. It was too hard. This place had an advertisement right beside the old studio. I begged my dad again and again until he finally let me take some lessons. After a few years, Frank asked me if I wanted to compete. It's a good place to let all that anger out." Leah just nodded.

"What do you know about me, Ryanne? You've had a perfect life."

"Perfect, huh? You know, my mother electively left me here. And every time that I went back to her house, she would sign me up for a summer camp and leave me there. That's how I know about what you feel, Leah. I was so angry at her for choosing to leave me and then not wanting me around when I was there. Sarah was the one who told me what being bitter did for me. Nothing. Sarah was the only mother that I knew. She was more my mother than my mother ever was. And, believe it or not, I know what you're feeling.

"It's the ridiculous hopelessness, right? You feel like you should've been there, done something, anything, to keep it from happening. You play the last conversation you remember having with them over and over again, trying to remember if you told them that you loved them. I know what all of that feels like, Leah. And this place," I looked around us. "If I'm right and this is what you're feeling, then this is the right place for you. And if you don't stop, I'll just sign you up myself."

She pulled me up to my feet then, offering the most affection that I would probably ever get from her.

"Thanks, Rye." I just nodded, knowing she didn't actually want to hear me say anything.

"Go sign up, Bitch. Tell Frank or Nathan you'll share a locker with me," I said, tapping her shoulder with a light punch.

I gathered all of our things, glad that I hadn't worn any makeup to the funeral, glad that I'd brought Leah down her. She could never fight in competitions, but she could use a bag and spar with me. So long as Jake never found out about this. I slung both bags over my shoulder and looked over. Nathan was staring at her with wide eyes, Leah fingering her hair nervously. I slapped my forehead lightly. Someone was going to kill me. Whether it was Jake or Sam, I wasn't sure. But someone was going to kill me. I ran my hand down my face nervously. She stumbled away from him, thanking him quickly and bolting out the door.