As I pondered through my thoughts, I found the answer I wasn't looking for and I am somewhat taken aback at the sternness in which my consciousness confronted me.
I found the truth to the reasons behind my greatest fear. I looked at myself in a mirror held in the depths of my mind and faced the truth of why I dislike being alone.
I once enjoyed solitude, but even as I say that I question whether I ever did when I look back at the times I was most alone and see that it was also the times I held hands with depression and fell in rose bushes. I'm also forced to acknowledge the aching nights of facing the nightmare of truths.
Truth, perhaps that is the root to all the branches.
Alone I can not hide,
I am enclosed in a room and my ears are but victims to the words of truth, there is no escaping myself when I am confined to the walls of my own mind, and alone there, there is nothing to hear but stinging truth. Which is the precise reason why I was never looking for the answer. I don't want to face myself. I want to drown myself out with the sound of the radio and the laughter with friends.
There is no facing truth in that scenario because I am not me, I am who I want to be and feel as I want to feel.
My worst fear is being alone, because I can not lie to myself.
