life's rain // bruno mars

chapter seventeen

chapter seventeen

“Her father,” I said, “what about her father?”

“Impossible. He's hospitalized and is about to go to rehab,” she paused. “or is already there.”

“For real?”

Stephanie sat down on the couch's arm rest. “He's been hospitalized for years I think. From alcohol poisoning? There's something wrong with his liver.” Her eyebrows drew together as she tried to recall the things Lena told her. “She would never go visit him.”

“Why wouldn't she?” That sounded crazy. Who wouldn't want to visit their dad in the hospital?

She shrugged. “It has something to do with bad memories. She doesn't like them. She's afraid he'll die, and him lying in a hospital bed near death will be her last memory of him. That's not a mental picture you want to carry for the rest of your life.” Good memories smoothing the edges of the bad ones. Her words unfolded softly in my mind. And when we were at the lake, she took a picture. A shock pulsed through me. She had replaced the memory of her brother's death with a moment of us. “You know how she was acting before she left, Steph?”

She shifted uncomfortably. “She wanted to be alone most of the time. Always stayed in her room. You know how she loved to go for a walk with her camera? Well, she barely saw the light of day. She still wrote, listened to music, read. It was normal, except for her staying in all day. But once—” she cut herself off.

“But once what?” I urged. “This is important.”

“She left, in the middle of the night. I was coming from my room to get some drinks and I saw her leaving. This actually occurred more than once.”

More than once. It wasn't just that time she visited me at my window at midnight. “Midnight strolls?” I guessed.

She shook her head. “Someone was picking her up. We live in the front, so I could see their blare of headlights.”

I rubbed my forehead, feeling drained. “She must have had other friends. Maybe she went to go live with them.”

“But why would she?”

Because she didn't want to stay with you. I bit back the words. She didn't want to stay with me either. But why cut off all ties? All contacts? Why just disappear like that?

Stephanie's voice was tiny. “There was a note.”

My head snapped up. “Where?”

She stood and went to the kitchen. I was sitting on a bar stool at the counter in front of the kitchen and watched Stephanie rummage through a drawer. Pulling out a tiny slip of paper, she said, “This is why I haven't really been concerned.”

On one side, in no doubt Lena's scrawl, it read moved out. On the other side, please tell bruno to forget about me.

I stared down at the words, not knowing how to feel. I raised my eyes to meet Steph's. She was looking at me with a mixture of sadness and guilt. “Why didn't you show me this before?”

“I didn't want you to see that.”

Anger boiled on the inside of me. I felt the paper crumple in my closed fist. “Why the hell not?”

“You'd turn into more of a mess than you are now. Lena wouldn't want that.”

“That's ridiculous.” I hopped off the stool. “A really shit reason.”

“I thought it to be better if you're off thinking that she still wanted you.” She rolled her eyes. “Sorry,” she muttered sarcastically.

How can someone be so stupid? “If she didn't want me, she would've told me straight up.” And it didn't feel like she didn't, the way she was kissing me two weeks ago. I licked my lips.