Trust Falls

A/N: And I'll leave you with this...

So that's it. It's finally wrapped up and finished. And I wanted to leave you all with one final note, but before I get to that I want to apologize for letting you all down so many times. I've definitely learned from the experience though, and the next book I'm writing, I'll finish writing it before I start uploading chapters. That way, I won't miss updating it!

I started this book in roughly February, and I think it's important to leave you all with a few words about what I've learned since I started this book. In case anyone here needs this.

Every one of us has a little bit of Iqra in us. The insecurities, the rebelliousness, the constantly being compared to someone else...

And here's the thing.

No one in this world can be you. No one. So don't ever let yourself become a copy of someone else. You don't have to subject yourself to anyone else's standards because you came into this world alone, and you will leave it alone, so other's opinions really don't matter.

People talk of achieving perfection in everything they do. We aspire to look perfect, act like glass dolls, and live like kings and queens. We all do it. I'm here to remind you that you're not perfect. And you never will be. But that's okay. Not every masterpiece has perfect brushstrokes, not every dance routine has perfect arches and jumps. Give yourself the grace to grow, and remember to extend that same grace to everyone else. Because we're all the same, in that respect.

They tell us all that we're perfect or that we need to be. But you're not perfect. And that's okay. None of us are. Realizing your own flaws is self-empowerment. Accepting them takes self-love. And changing them takes courage. They say we need to love ourselves, even our flaws. That we don't need to change for anything or anyone. But it's okay not to love yourself every single day. Just most days. It's okay to realize that flaws are flaws. Arrogance is never attractive.

And it's okay to change. We'll weather storms throughout our lives, and sometimes they last the whole way through. Give yourself the chance to change, and forgive yourself if you make a mistake. You're human too and your feet touch the ground just like everyone else's. Sometimes you'll walk on pavement and carpet, and sometimes you'll run through mud and water. Just never stop walking.

They say appearance doesn't matter. But it does. Appearance does matter. It's just one more part of what makes you, you. It's just as important a part of you as your personality, your experiences, your memories, your hopes and dreams. But unlike all those other things, appearance is the easiest to judge in one glance. It's like how a student can get an A in his class, but it doesn't always mean he learned something. Saying appearances aren't important...maybe one day we'll live in a world where that will be true. Maybe one day we'll live in compassion and peace and self-empowerment will be what we teach our kids right next to their colors and alphabets. But this isn't a letter for some far off future. This is a letter for now and the days ahead. So for now, appearance is important. But the only one whose opinion matters is your own. Do what makes you feel confident.

They tell us to live our lives as fully as we can, and that a day without laughter is a day wasted. It all seems so beautiful and whips up an energetic storm inside you. But a day without laughter is still a day well spent. Sometimes you need to spend a day sad. No one can tell you that you need to be happy every second of your life. Things happen, mistakes are made...people pass away. And a day spent crying is still a day of your life and it's just as important as all the others. Because sadness is an emotion too. Because anger is an emotion too. Because not everything comes with joy and grace. Sometimes it takes us falling down cliffsides and breaking a couple bones in order to find the path we're looking for. So don't let anyone tell you it's not okay to be sad.

That's the reason you love staying up at night, isn't it. Because you can respond to friends, take stupid pictures, and daydream without judgement. Because at three a.m. no one can see you cry and tell you it's going to be okay. Sometimes it won't be. And that's okay too. Because what happens at three a.m. stays there.

Not everything that didn't go as you imagined was a disaster. Not everything you can control needs to be changed. Not everything you can't change needs to be grieved. Try to have a positive outlook on life. But if you can't that's okay too. Because in the end, your goal should only be one thing. Live. Sometimes that means just existing, going through your day without producing anything. And that's okay too. The point is to stay alive and not let anything stop your heart from beating. We all die in the end, but we can choose how we go. Some people die young and are buried when they're old. The point is to stay true to yourself. When you can't find happiness, learn to keep your head down and your feet on the right track. They say happiness comes from inside you, as if other things can't control it too. But we all have bad days. Just don't lose your purpose.

So let every single person you give your heart to break it when they do. Don't try to hold yourself back or hold yourself together. Let them make you cry. Let the world tear you to shreds, over and over and over and over again. And each time, sow yourself back together with threads of gold. In time, all the rips and tears you've bound together will leave you with a glittering heart of gold worth more than you'd even know. More beautiful that you'd ever think. Because you'd have learned something with each heartbreak. To love, forgive, live and let go. Smile through the tears and laugh through the confusion because it'll all make sense one day and you'll be right where you need to be.

This is probably the most lowkey optimistic thing I've ever written. All pieces taken from different things I've heard and learned and put together here for you. If you're looking for a sign of some sort, let this be it. This is it. This is your sign. Life may be the longest thing we ever do, but it's only at the end that we realize we never have enough of it.

I'm sorry for the long-winded speech (ugh. I didn't mean to!). I'm working on getting the next book together over the next few months, and I hope to see you there if you're interested!

Thank you so much for staying with me on this journey! <3

Good bye! 

~October.