Into Chaos Hurled (Book 2)

One - Death of the Heart

"All those people..." My sister wiped her eyes quickly, in a brave attempt to not cry. Great-grandmama had admonished her for it before. "Trying to swim in that icy water..."

I gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as I went around to sit on Great-grandmama's other side. "Are you all right, Great-grandmama?"

Her mouth was a thin line, and her eyes were hard, betraying no emotion. "Not very," she said.

Father entered just then, his eyes red-rimmed and raw. He'd been crying, I could tell. But he hadn't wanted to do it in front of me. But I wouldn't have blamed him if he had. Robert was his brother. There was nothing in the world that could prepare someone for that kind of loss.

"Christopher," said Great-grandmama, her voice gentler than I'd ever heard it before. "I am deeply sorry about Robert. I know how close the two of you were."

"I know, Grandmama," he answered without looking up. "Thank you."

Great-grandmama folded the paper carefully and put it aside, and right before she folded them in her lap, I caught them trembling. "It truly pains me to see you this way."

"We will honour his memory properly, in time," Father said, his voice hardening as he swiped at his cheek. "Petey, Lottie, your mother says we must go into mourning immediately."

"Yes, Papa." Lottie set her jaw and bit down on her lip, although I noticed the tears gathering in her eyes.

"Yes, Father," I echoed. I didn't even remember the last time I'd had to wear my mourning clothes. They were as crisp and neat as the day they arrived.

"Excuse me. I must go." Father turned abruptly and left the room.

A brief silence settled over us before Lottie lost her composure, burying her face into a napkin with her shoulders shaking. Great-grandmama didn't reprimand her, only reached over and gently rubbed her arm.

||

I met Mother on the stairs. She appeared to have been crying as well, her eyes as red and raw as Father's. Gently, she cupped my chin and held my eyes.

"Mother..." I said before she pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Petey, my darling." She stroked my hair gently, voice muffled by the front of my coat. "You have held up so well. It is a wonder we will get through this day at all."

"We must all do our best, Mother," I said, returning her embrace. "Take care of ourselves as much as possible."

She gave a watery laugh as she pulled away, rubbing my cheek with her thumb. "In all the years I have raised you, I never expected you to say that."

"I mean it, Mother, truly." I bent down and kissed her forehead. "I told Lottie the same thing."

"No doubt she needs it." She smoothed the front of my coat. "Now go change, before your father sees. I suspect he meant it when he said immediately."

I gave Mother's hands one last squeeze before taking the long way to my room. I couldn't help but think about the games we had played in these corridors as children. Mainly a hide-and-go-seek variety, where one of us would hide and the other would look, but after the other was found, we'd hide together. Sardines, Lottie had called it. Mother managed to get the reason out of us soon afterward, and within the day the governess was sent away.

"Peter. I mean...m'lud." Alexander, the first footman as well as my best mate, straightened when I entered. "You're back early."

"We're to go into mourning," I said. "Immediately, Father says."