Airplanes (Michael Clifford Fan Fiction)

say it...

The time stopped.

The air became heavier.

The sounds around me faded.

The images surrounding me disappeared.

Every move, every breath was in slow motion.

What did I hear?

My vision was blurry.

And I couldn't blink.

What if I blink and everything disappear?

What if is just a dream and wake up in any second?

My mouth was dried.

All these years, believing that this feeling wasn't real.

Believing that this kind of things only happened in movies, novels, tales, the fan fictions I read.

Is this the real life?

Or is this just fantasy?

Am I going to start singing Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, in my mind?

Yes, I just did it.

''Michael...'' I managed to say, scared that he would disappear any moment.

Tears started to fall down my face and I didn't know how to speak. ''... I,''

''you don't have to say it'' he said to me, looking a bit sad, maybe because of my lack of words.

''they always say to me that I don't know what love is because they think I fall in love too many times for too many girls, Ashton have some kind of gift, he always knows when something's happening, he realized you've been having trouble with me, I mean, I was giving some troubles to you, he saw it in your eyes and when they came upstairs to wake me up, ashton asked what was happening between you and I, I couldn't lie to him, he warned me, to be careful, he said I shouldn't fall in love so many times, but it wasn't love, it never was, until I felt it for real, until I knew it was love, until I couldn't recognize what I was feeling because I've never felt that way before, until I saw you that night with harry, outside the bar, and my heart burned so hard, to the point that I felt a pain in my chest, the feeling that came along with it was different, fear, panic, and I was so fucking jealous, I've never felt so much jealousy in my life, I don't have a lot of experience with girls, as you may know, one of them even wrote a song and made a video saying how much I suck, but the thing is, Ann, that I've been waiting to feel this for so long, every time I thought it was love, eventually I realized it wasn't, it was the same all the time, that's how I knew it wasn't real, that's how I know this time is for real, because it's different, this feeling fills my heart, my mind, everything in me is filled with what I feel for you, I can feel my heart beating faster whenever I look at you, and whenever I can't see you, I feel empty, and when I kissed you the first time I freaked out, it's like if something woke up inside me and scared me so I ran away and now I know what was that feeling, I was falling in love with you and I denied it to myself, my brain refused to believe and I was confused because my heart was feeling something and my brain was telling me something else, and when I found you that night, outside, and harry was holding your hands, I almost fell on my knees and cried because also I almost lost a friend that night, I love Rena so much like a sister and I hurt her and I will never forget myself for that, but I paid the prize right after, feeling completely lost and abandoned, and I'm so scared but happy right now because I will never, ever be able to say all this again, so this is what I have, I love you, Annie Rose'' he finished talking and I was sobbing.

That was the longest, most perfect and beautiful speech I've ever heard in my life.

''all my life I believed... that this feeling didn't exist, I grew up thinking that people just needed one another and that they believed in love because they were too dependent of one another so they needed a name for it, I watched people I know, and people I don't, falling apart, broken, in pain, suffering for what they called love, I witnessed the ruins caused by that so claimed 'best feeling ever', I've seen the pieces of their broken hearts, and people still persisted to find that feeling, I always wondered why they couldn't see that 'love' was something destructive, a plague, 'love is the answer' I always heard people saying, but the answer for what? What questions they did to have love as an answer? that who have destroyed so many lives, my parents, they died, a horrible car crash ended with their lives, they said they loved each other, but they always fought, they yelled at each other, making me run away from home for hours till they finished fighting, my dad used to hurt my mother, beat her, make her scream, and she would always say to me she had hope that someday he would change because he loved her and their kids, she prayed day and night for my father, even when he would come home and find her kneeling in their room, praying, he would fight her and treat her like shit, and then they'd be all kind and nice again, they were good parents, they never failed as it, but as a marriage, they were ruining each other, but they're not here anymore, they were going to celebrate 'love', their anniversary, and the result was on their death, I forgave them though, I cried for them, I want to have them back, I really miss them, my brother is living somewhere on the world, I don't know about him anymore, we were so close, and when that tragic day came, our connection, our chemical died as well, I learned to live alone, I moved, and I found my friends here, and I found James, and I never believed he loved me neither that I loved him, and you already know how ended''