Misguided

The One Where Luke Tells

J e n

"How long was it until you and Ash had sex?" Nicole asks me, eating some more of her ice cream. Katie, Nic, and I have decided to spend a few hours together, as sort of a girl's time, before the boys get back from whatever they're busy with. We've been talking about anything and everything, and now we're on the topic of sex.

"I'd say about a month, month and a half. Something like that." I inform her. "Fuck, it was something else, too. I don't think I've ever been so satisfied." This causes light giggles to escape Katie and Nic, but I can't tell if it's from the alcohol they put on their ice cream or from me actually being funny for once.

"Niall and I had sex just a couple weeks after going out." Katie speaks up. "It was great."

"You used to have the biggest crush on that man when we were growing up." Nicole says as she turns her attention to Katie. "You used to act concerned for your dad and ask him if he needed to go to the chiropractor a lot, then when he actually would go you'd have to tag along."

"I did not." Katie defends herself. "Only sometimes. I was actually very concerned about my dad, silly."

"Either way, I think it's cute that you're going out with your childhood crush." I speak up. "Dr. Horan is most definitely one of the best looking men I've ever laid eyes on."

"That he is." Katie nods, then turns to Nicole again. "Didn't you have a crush on him at one point?"

"Yeah, but just a small one." She replies. I zone out from their conversation as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I check to see what it is, expecting it to be Ashton or an app notification, but finding that Ginny has texted me.

Ginny 3:47PM
I'm not sure about this Luke guy...

Ginny 3:47PM
Like he's okay and he's very cute, but he just seemed distracted the whole lunch, and I don't know if it was me or something else

Jen 3:48PM
I'll talk him. He may have had something on his mind.

I lock my phone, telling myself I'll read her response later, then excuse myself from the apartment. I walk across the hall, knocking on Luke and Michael's door. I hear a faint 'come in', so I let myself in to find Luke laying across the couch staring at the ceiling. He's quick to sit up when he sees me.

"Jen, hey." He sends me his best smile, and I can automatically tell that something's up.

"So, Ginny told me you seemed distracted during your lunch together." I say, walking over to him and sitting beside him. "Is something wrong?"

"I just don't think it's gonna work out with her." He tells me. "I'm sorry."

"Why don't you think it'll work out?" I inquire. "Is there someone else?" I place a hand on his back, rubbing slightly to try to be comforting in some way.

"There-" He swallows hard and casts his gaze to the floor. "There is someone else, but I can't tell you who."

"You can tell me anything, Luke. You know that." I try to persuade him, wanting him to confide in me. We don't have any secrets between one another, to my knowledge anyway. I don't like that he's keeping this from me.

He lets out a deep sigh then turns to me. He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again and shakes his head. "I can't, Jen."

"Why can't you tell me?"

"Because you'll get upset, and probably hate me." He says. My eyes widen slightly as I'm filled with concern.

"You're scaring me, Luke." I tell him. "Please, tell me? I promise I won't get upset or hate you. I couldn't ever hate you."

"I-" He takes in a deep breath. "I can't go out with Ginny anymore because there's another girl, and the other girl is you." He doesn't look at me when he says this. I'm in shock, and slightly confused.

"How am I the other girl?"

"Ever since we had that one night where we connected on a deeper level, I haven't been able to get you off my mind. I think-I think I'm in love with you." He says this so calmly, like this isn't the biggest news he's spilled all year.

I'm silent and wide-eyed for several minutes. I know I should say something, but I can't think of anything to say that won't make the situation worse.

"Jen, please, say something." He finally says something else, but I just shake my head.

I get up from my seat. "I'm sorry, Luke. I don't feel the same way. I love Ashton, you should know that." I take in a deep breath, trying to calm myself some. "I'm so sorry. I have to go." I'm quick to leave, not wanting to make things more awful and awkward by staying there.