Different Me

Chapter 4 "calm" before the storm

I was sitting at a bench my back to Alex and his friends. Jex was talking to another girl and I was just happy to be out of the house. It was about two weeks after the party. Two weeks since Alex even spoke to me. And I was starting to find it hard to not run to his side and kiss him and...

Well I just wanted him to A, reject me or B, accept me. Because I was tired of hurting. And my Heat was going to happen in a matter of days. If that isn't scary on its own, I don't know what is. Jex said it is absolute hell. And that's if you haven't been exposed to your mate. She said that when she got it she couldn't walk and she said she felt hot all the time, but for mated women it's worse because the mate is known to them. And only a mates touch can take their pain away.

And if Alex meant what he said, he basically won't even help we with that. Which means I'll be in absolute hell. For a whole week. Maybe two. Jex said she would stay and help, but I know I will want to be alone in that time of weakness. Most I'll let her do is guard my door and keep rouge men out.

I turned to look at them and of course immediately regretted that decision. I had to run to the bathroom so I wouldn't start drooling over the shirtless Alex. And of course, who turned and saw me rushing away? Alex. I ran past the bathroom and out of the mini recreation center, and to the house. I only slowed to say hi to Gale and then keep running. I slowed down to a stop in front of the woods. But Jex had warned me that this is where mates came. To "have fun." As she put it. I stood just starting into the trees, as if I was waiting for something to happen.

"Any particular reason your standing out here, just staring?" I heard the voice that made my heart melt. I shoved my eyes shut.

"Yeah. I was trying to forget something." I reply.

"Like what?" His voice is extremely close to me now. I have to take some calming breaths.

"Like things." I say folding my arms.

"Like, me?" He asks right behind me, so close I can feel his breath.

"Yeah, that would be one of the things I'm trying really hard to forget." I turn around and have to take a step back because he was too temptingly close.

He stares at me with his grey eyes.

"Do you want me or not?!" I suddenly burst out.

"I do. But I can't have you right now." He says gently.

"Yes! You can have me! Quit playing with me like I'm a stupid toy Alex!" I try not to scream.

"It's dangerous Andrea." He contradicts.

"No you don't say! That comes with being Alpha Alex! You have dangers to face! But that's so worth it for what you get out of it Alex." I nearly sob.

His eyes soften, but he shakes his head. "That's how it has to be for now Andrea." And he walks back towards the house.

I run into the woods, despite what Jex told me. I leaned against a tree and sobbed. I heard other wolves around me but eventually I was alone. Only my quiet sobs could be heard in the stillness. I eventually nodded off not knowing what time it was.

I dreamt I was back at my old home. I was cowering in my room, cornered against a wall. My dad smashed a bottle over my head and Drew sucker punched me. I got a kick to the ribs and hip. More punches proceed until I was curled up on the ground, unable to move. They left laughing hysterically.

I jerked awake and I saw only darkness. I shivered from the chills I got. I didn't realize I was being carried until their hand shifted on my back and it sent electricity through my Pack Tattoos. Alex.

"Why are you out here?" I ask quietly.

"You didn't come back inside so I came back to see if you where still here." He replied simply.

We got to the house and I was looking at the side of his face, and his tossed hair. I felt the urge to wrap my arms around his neck but resisted. I closed my eyes, too tired to keep them open. I felt him lowering me on my bed and covering me up. And then he did something that surprised me. He kissed my forehead, the way he used to when we where little.

I opened my eyes and grabbed his hand before he could go.

"I miss the old Alex. But I think I could grow to love the new one. If he lets me," I say in a soft voice.

He leaves and quietly shuts the door.

________________________________________________

When I wake up it's already late afternoon. I decide to try and find Jex and see if she wants to hang out before my Heat. I know the effects will start to kick in a few days before my eighteenth birthday. I text her and she messages back saying she will be to my room in five.

I go to my closet and pull on a pair of sweats and a baggy tee shirt, and I tie my hair up in a messy bun. I hear a knock and yell, "come in!". Jex closes the door.

"Well looks like somebody decided to get up!" She says laughing

"Yeah, I had a rough night." I sigh.

"Alex?" She asks already knowing my entire life story.

"Yeah, and nightmares." I add.

"Wow, you just could not catch a break last night could you?" She tsks.

"Nope. And my Heat is in like two days. Which means effects will probably start kicking in tomorrow." I groan.

"And without Alex to help..." She trails off.

"Yeah I know, I'll probably end up in pain for weeks on end with no stop. Yeah. My life sucks." I punctuate the sucks.

Her phone beeps. She groans,"urgh I have to go, my boyfriend..." She was cut off as a tall guy with tussled mocha colored hair and deep sea blue eyes bursts in the room shouting,"JEX YOUR SISTER TOOK MY CAR!" He yells. She sighs and face palms.

"Andrea, this is my boyfriend Max," she says and dose a sweeping gesture to the guy standing in the door with a stupid grin on his face.

"Hello Max, my name is Andrea." I say giving a slight wave.

"Hey." He says simply.

"Okay, well I gotta go get his car." She sighs and they leave.

I plop down on the bed and pulled out my laptop. I browsed the internet for hours until I fell asleep to a cute cat video.