Paradise City.

Chapter 69: Wet Tee Shirt Contest.

Chapter 69: Wet Tee Shirt Contest.

¬Peasnie¬

“Are you sure you want to go and do the groceries? I can do it if you’d like and you can stay home with the kids?” Phil offered happily as he trailed behind me like a lost puppy. I smiled vaguely as I tossed my wallet and phone into my little black leather purse and wrapped it across my body. I looked at my worried husband and nodded, my blonde hair falling into my face.

“Yes Phil, –I’ll go and do groceries. Bailey needs me to help her grocery shop, anyways.” I said, grabbing my car keys. I’ve been home for a couple of days now and Bailey needs me to help her get the stuff to make Alfie’s birthday cake. I don’t mind helping Bailey grocery shop, it kinda reminds me of when I was little and she’d take me to the store because I was too little to stay home alone.

I smiled and kissed the top of James’ head, he sat in his highchair happily with a bowl of spaghetti-o’s and a sippy cup of chocolate milk. I brushed his shaggy hair from his messy face and planted my lips on his overly warm forehead. I turned on my heel to face Phil again. Nevaeh was held against Phil’s chest securely, I kissed her forehead gently. She momentarily opened her eyes and looked at Phil, noticeably sucking her pacifier and uncurling and curling her fingers. I smiled faintly at Phil and planted my lips on his shortly.

“There’s milk for Nevaeh in the fridge if you need, And James really needs a bath before his nap. I love you –I’ll be back in a few hours.” I quickly stated as I rushed out the front door. Phil sighed and nodded, noting down that not only does James need a bath before naptime but we really shouldn’t leave him unattended with a bowl of over-sauced spaghetti.

“Alright, say ‘see ya later mommy’ Nevaeh.” Phil said waving Nevaeh’s small hand with a sweet smile as I left the condo; Phil closed the door behind me after James squealed a loud Good-Bye. I smiled at the Good-Byes I got; it reminded me of when I left for that week long tour. James knew I was gone for a while but Nevaeh is still too little to understand since she’s only four months old. James is going to be two in December so he knows when mommy leaves.

I walked down the hallway, wearing a pair of plain stone wash jeans, a light blue tee shirt and a black hoodie. I decided that my oldest pair of running shoes would do me good for this shopping trip because Bailey will surely drag me to more than one shop. I had tied my hair up from my face. I walked through the car park to the new black SUV that we got. Nevaeh’s bright pink leopard print car seat was next to James’ bright blue spaceman car seat, leaving a space between the two but there were toys filling the space. I loved the look of the car; it made me feel like I was a little kid again. Kier was only seven years old when Alfie was born and so he was still in a car seat and Alfie was in a car seat as well but I wasn’t. And the car was full of toys or juice boxes and animal crackers. I’m used to it and sometimes I miss it.

I sat behind the driver’s seat and adjusted it since Phil was the last to drive this and he’s six foot three while I stand at five foot eleven. I pulled the seat forward slightly and turned the SUV on, letting the CD play fairly loudly. Not extremely loud but loud enough James can sing loudly to it.

Today was a School day so Kier, Alfie and the twins were away at School. Kier is doing his finals which he’s stressing out about. These exams are driving him nutty; he’s asking our dog to sit his exams for him. I’m not kidding, we were sitting in the living room and he was on the floor at the coffee table asking the dog to sit his exams for him in a serious tone. Poor Kier, luckily finals are almost over then he’s done with High School. He’s planning on moving out just after the holidays to the apartment in L.A since he’s finished with School until graduation in June.

I pulled up to the house to see Bailey locking the front door in pair of jeans, a yellow top and a knitted red sweater. She faced me with a large smile and skipped down the path towards the parked SUV on the street. Bailey’s showing now, she must be four months along now so she’s beginning to show a little more than she’d like. She doesn’t want people to know that she’s pregnant with a dead man’s child. As crude as that sounds, it’s true. Bee-Bee and Grandpa Joe support Bailey with her decision and so do her parents. They thought she was keeping it for herself; they called her crazy for doing that but a wonderful woman for doing it alone. When she told them she’s giving the baby to close friends because they can’t have one, they thought she was even more wonderful than before. But she doesn’t want the magazines to know or the fans, she doesn’t want people posting pictures of her pregnant self on the web and she doesn’t want people asking who the father is. She’s already being called a ‘gold digger’ because people think that as soon as dad died, she went to another man for money and ended up getting knocked up. But then there are some fans that are very loyal and know Bailey wouldn’t do that. She doesn’t mind when they come up to her in public and tell her that they think she’s brave and the most beautiful human being on the planet. She just doesn’t want this to be everywhere; it’s like Val’s pregnancy with River, none of everyone’s business. If she wants the world to know what she’s feeling and why she’s feeling it, then she’ll let it know but she doesn’t so butt you nose out of it and be there for her as a supporter. It’s not fair on her, she’s lost a husband this year and people are calling her names and spreading rumours. If she didn’t love my dad, she wouldn’t have been with him for twenty-odd years. She’s been with him even before the band started so I get really pissed when people call her a gold digger or that she was only with my dad for his money. There’s even a theory about her only being with him to have his kids, the theory has said that she was planning on putting Kier up for adoption and that’s why she ran. Blonde haired, blue eyed boys are a fortune in the adoption world. And when that was done she planned on coming back to have another one with him, until she had enough money to start her own business. Bailey’s been reported to have leeched off of dad so she can get her name out there and I hate that. Now I know why she wants this baby to be a secret until Johnny and Lindsay have custody of it, that’s when they decide weather they want to thrust it into the spotlight or keep it safely hidden behind them. I wouldn’t blame them if they kept it hidden.

“G’morning sweetie.” Bailey said kindly as she got into the car. I smiled at her and turned down the radio.

“G’morning mom.” I greeted happily making Bailey’s pale cheeks redden with blush. Ever since I was little and I’d call her mom, she’d blush. Bailey did up her seat belt because safety first.

“How are you feeling today?” I asked knowing that yesterday she was having a low day. Bailey still suffers from depression and she’s taking Fluoxetine for it but since the Doctors found out she’s with child, they lowered the dosage even more. Bailey pursed her lips and shrugged slightly, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I’m doing better, although the Fluoxetine is kicking my ass even after they lowered it from twenty milligrams to ten which is as low as they can go for it to still be able to treat me.” She told me with a small voice. Bailey hates that she needs to be on antidepressants in the first place. I’ve gotten calls from her late at night, early in the morning because she’s sobbing and so depressed that she has to do this alone and nobody understands her. She’s like a teenage girl all over again. But I can try my best to help her through this; after all she did it for me.

I frowned and kept my eyes on the road, although I’d flick them over to Bailey’s sullen face once in a while. I felt bad that she’s feeling so sad. I know what it’s like to be depressed and in that dark place. What I didn’t know was that Bailey’s been to the same place I’ve been. She self harmed and was suicidal around the same age as me but dad saved her, just like he saved me.

I put my hand on hers gently and quickly glanced over at her with a sympathetic expression.

“It’s okay, it’ll get better. I promise.” I reassured her in a calm voice. Bailey pursed her lips at me and nodded. I truly felt bad for Bailey because she is alone in this, no matter how many people say they’re here for her. She has to go through this pregnancy by herself knowing that, that child won’t know who its real daddy is and that the daddy doesn’t even know it’s alive, knowing that can make anyone depressed.  

I pulled the SUV into an empty parking space close to the doors of the grocery store, turned the car off and pulled the keys from the ignition. I tossed them into my bag and helped Bailey out of the car. She had a list in her hands already. I grabbed a cart and began to push it along, Bailey and I decided that since I just got a pretty big pay check, I’ll pay for the groceries. Okay I decided that, Bailey had no choice. Bailey and I wandered around the store, nosing around the aisles for the items we needed. Alfie wanted just a chocolate and vanilla cake, not mixed but two different cakes with two different flavours and chocolate icing. I can’t believe she’s going to be eleven. Seems like yesterday I was schooling dad on what not to do during a water birth and today she’s turning into a rotten teenager like the rest of us. Bailey’s planning on going through with another water birth for this one; she’s already decided that she wants Lindsay and me in the room with her. This’ll be the first birth that I’ve witnessed that wasn’t my own. I think Bailey should let Johnny come in the room too, just because that’s going to be his baby after the birth and he should be able to witness it. But according to Bailey, Johnny wouldn’t feel right if he was there. He’d see parts of his best friend’s wife that he should never see. I respect that about him.

I kept my nose in down at the paper as Bailey and I stood in the frozen goods section. Phil has been texting me, saying Nevaeh didn’t want to take the bottle. She’s too used to me breast feeding her so that’s what she’s wanting even though that’s my milk that she’s getting from the bottle. The mere thought of me walking through the door with the groceries and the first thing I do is feed Nevaeh. My boobs are already engorged and they leak.

My ears picked up on a familiar sound, I thought it was just me imagining Nevaeh crying but I could no doubt about it hear a baby’s cry from a short distance away. I kept my head down and read the short list of things that we needed at the house.

“Ugh, –Peasnie.” I heard Bailey say. I didn’t look up I just hummed at her, she didn’t reply.

“Peasnie.” She snapped my name like a whip making my head shoot up so I was looking directly at her. Her eyes weren’t meeting mine but she was looking at me. That’s when I felt something wet on my shirt, making it stick to me. My heart started to race as I looked down to see stream marks running down my shirt from my bra. Blush engulfed my face as I dropped my list into the cart and zipped my black hoodie up. I can’t believe this is happening. That baby’s cry made my boobs leak. I’ve never had this happen to me before, not when I was feeding James or even when I was weaning him onto the bottle instead. Something just set me off, I can’t believe this is happening.