Paradise City.

Chapter 68: 700 Days of A Week Long Tour.

IN CELEBRATION OF MY 700TH UPDATE ON WATTPAD, I DEDICATE THIS TO EVERYONE WHO'S EVER READ ANY OF MY STORIES AND DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE COMPLETE AND UTTER SHIT. SO THANK YOU TO THE FANS OF SAVED BY FRANK IERO UP TO HALLOWEEN! THIS ONE IS FOR YOU. 

¬KAT.

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Chapter 68: 700 Days of a Week Long Tour.

¬Peasnie¬

It feels like I’ve been away from my family for years, in the week that I’ve been gone Melissa had Jade. I haven’t gotten a chance to call them and tell them how happy I am for them. They’re really lucky. Phil told me Jade looks alot like Dan. I can only imagine what Jade looks like; she’ll have Dan’s bright brown eyes and his face. Oh God, Dan had extremely curly hair as a child so hopefully she has Melissa’s hair. And I pray for the both of them that she doesn’t have Dan’s YouTube personality because if she does, they’re screwed and his potty mouth. If Jade swears like Dan they’re in for a fun time.

Before I left for tour I got a tattoo on the back of my hand of a rose with a rosary wrapping around my wrist and fingers with ‘forever’ on the cross, the cross sat on the side of my thumb. It looks like I’m actually holding it and it’s intertwined with my fingers. Everybody loves it and so do I. James thinks I got coloured on so he’s taken to drawing on me with his markers. I don’t mind, more art for me.

While I was away Phil managed to get a nanny for the kids because he got a promotion a couple of days before I left. I really wish he hadn’t had gotten a nanny though, I never even met her. I don’t want a complete stranger around my babies. The four times that I got to Skype call them she wasn’t there or anywhere around. According to Phil, Debbie is a very good nanny; she takes care of James and Nevaeh although James likes to terrorize her all day while she’s busy with Nevaeh. I kinda felt proud of him for that. I can’t believe this all happened within a week that I’ve been gone. I feel so left out; I’ve missed everyone so much even though I’ve only been up North. I don’t know what I’m gonna do when we leave for a month and then after that three months. Luckily today is the last show and it’s close to home so after the show we just get to go home. I can’t wait. Phil left Nevaeh and James in the care of his adoptive mom. Phil is going to be at the show which is going to make me feel so much better and a lot less homesick. I’ve felt really homesick this last week. I know it’s only because there is so much going on and I’ve missed it all, it’s like I can sleep through the end of the world and wake up wondering where everybody went.

I sighed as I stared at myself in the mirror of the dressing room. The last opening band was playing their final three songs before we go on. My stomach filled up with butterflies as I stared at my tired face. I was slightly pale and my eyes were sunken in a little bit.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and raked my hair back into a ponytail, twisting the orange elastic around my long blonde hair. This has been a long week and I can’t wait to go home. I can’t wait to have a single night with just Phil. We haven’t had a single night together since July. It’s the end of October now. I can’t wait to just go home and have some one on one time with him. I don’t care if we just spend the night cuddling and watching a movie or releasing some stress, I just want to be with Phil for a little while.

I jumped when I felt someone grab my shoulders heavily. I turned to see Matt shuffling me aside from the mirror.

“C’mon kiddo, last show then home.” He said reminding me kindly. I nodded as followed behind the guys. I could hear the fans screaming as we walked down the long hallways to the backstage area. My heart began to race and those butterflies erupted into a nervous feeling. I wasn’t nervous about playing in front of all those people, I’m nervous about playing in front of my Uncles. I’m always scared I’m going to screw up and they’re going to kick me out. Ever since the band started I’ve dreamed about playing with them, sadly it’s under these circumstances. I wish my dad was off to the side of the stage or in the crowd, hell even having a drum battle with him would be amazing but I know that he’s not going to be here at all. And the shoes he’s made are huge so I have a lot to fill. I love playing drums and I love making music, it’s just apart of who I am and how I grew up but when I looked out in the crowd up on the balcony where our families were or off to the side of the stage and Phil wasn’t there; I hated drumming. Phil wasn’t there to see me play; he wasn’t there to watch his wife do something she’s good at, something other than being a stay at home mother or a wife.  I was being the person I wanted to be, I wasn’t designing clothes or making art; I was drumming. The one thing I know I’m good at and he’s not here to see me do that. It broke my heart, it made those butterflies turn into razor blades.